Three sentence movie reviews to keep it simple.  I have a decade of reviews so feel free to search for a review of a movie you are yet to see from the past.  Enjoy!



2021


 Movie review "A Quiet Place 2"...

A better than the last one but still not that great. You finally get a choppy back story on how the aliens got here and some good gotchas from people that simply do not know how to be quiet. I give it a seven out of ten for the fifteen year old boy who can scream like a girl.

 

Movie review "Cruella"...

Absolutely the best movie of 2021 worthy of many Oscars! Great back story of Cruella with so many twists and turns and fantastic outfits. I give this one a twelve out of ten for the most famous line, "Revenge, avenge, and destroy"...

Movie review "Mortal-Kombat"

It was mortal kombat that kept me in my seat for the first thirty minutes till I walked out. Yet another predictable Disney gameboy cookie cutter, in which you see the ending a mile away. I give it a one out of ten for lacking in anything I wish to watch.

 

Movie review "The Marksman"

Leim Neilson kidnaps himself to try and keep the victimhood rolling. The kid and Leim had no chemistry and the story was even worse. I give it a three out of ten for burning good money as some kind of moral statement that was simply stupid.

 

Movie review "Nobody"...

The John Wick director delivers yet another revenge murder porn movie. Bob Oderkirk is in fine form as an action hero in a bit clunky storyline. I give it a eight our of ten for the 'Back to the Future' old man.

 

Movie review "Godzilla vs Kong'...

Yet another Disney cookie cutter where you see the ending a mile away. Great CGI with a story line that will put you to sleep. I give it a five out of ten for the destruction factor alone.

 

Movie review "Minari"...

Glen from 'Walking Dead' film debut with a bit of deliverance. I do not think all Koreans are this weird and the story line just ended without an ending. I give it a four out of ten to be nice to Glen.

 

Movie review "Monster Hunter"...

A sci-fi type time travel movie that kind of take you nowhere. It started off kind of interesting then disintegrated by the ending. I give it a two out of ten for the silly monsters and bad CGI.

 

Movie review, "Nomadland"....

A dark, sad, well written and acted movie about things I would like to avoid. It is a story about survival and what lengths people will go too. I give it an eight out of ten for a movie I hope to never see again.

 

 

2020 


Movie review, "Wonder Woman 84"...

Another Disney cookie cutter with bad script, bad acting, stupid bad guys, terrible CGI, and an ending you could see from twenty miles away. Oh yes, all men are evil so skinny women can beat them up. I give it a three out of ten for abducting a character from the movie 'cats'.

 

Movie review, "The War With Grandpa"...

Robert DeNiro must have serious dementia to agree to do this movie. It is a shame to rape such great actors with a bomb like this. I give it a four out of ten for abusing old people and children.

 

Movie review, "News of the World"...

Tom Hanks in fine form with a great script, excellent story, and offering something creative for a change. It is a western about survival and people helping and hurting one another. I give it a nine out of ten for keeping me engaged from start to finish.

 

Movie review, "Songbird"...

A moronic telling of what a pandemic might be like. Bad acting, script, story, with a slow pace to make it no song you want to hear. I give it a five out of ten for making me wish all the actors would die.

 

Movie review, "Greenland"...

A drama about the end of the world that keeps you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. Great script with plot twists and Gerard Burton in fine form. I give it a ten out of ten for making me appreciate the more important things in life.

 

Movie review "Bill and Ted Face the Music"...

After making Matrix and John Wick, Keanu Reeves found a way to shit all over his movie career. Just bad writing that had convoluted confusing time jumps with horrible acting. I give it a one out of ten for reminding me Keanu Reeves must be dumb.

 

Movie review "Invisible Man"...

A well done rebaked version of a classic. Great suspense and story twists in realizing a persons worst fears from an invisible person. I give it an eight out of ten for the crazy house take down alone.

 

Movie review "Call of the Wild"...

The rape of the story was almost as bad as the rape of Harrison Ford's acting career. I simply hate a movie where people talk to animals like they are people. I give it a two out of ten for scenery and nothing else.

 

Movie review "Birds of prey"...

A bad Charlie’s Angels on steroids in which Harley beats up gangs of men with guns who can't shoot straight. Actors that have no charisma with each other mixed with a bad script. I give it a four out of ten for realizing a pretty face cannot sell a movie.

 

Movie review "Gretel and Hansel"...

A creepy retelling of the folktale with good casting of characters. It is a dark movie that involves the eating of children. I give it a seven out of ten for being a good weird horror movie.

 

Movie review “Gentlemen”...

A London with the Sopranos type story. A guy movie with lots of twists and turns involving bad guys with gratuitous violence. I give it a nine out of ten for great McConaughey gangster.

 

Movie review "Bad Boys 2"...

Bad, bad, bad sequel to a mediocre movie to begin with. Robotic script with terrible acting and evil Mexicans. I give it a two out of ten for making me leave to get my money back.

 

Movie review "1917"...

A movie you must-see on the big screen that highlights young men in war. Great acting and storyline about a mission to save men's lives. I give it a nine out of ten for helping me to appreciate the little known sacrifices so many have made.

 

2019


Movie review "Uncut Gems"...

This film helped me understand why Hitler hated the Jews. A poorly written, horrible music score, bad acting, along with the depiction of Jewish people as being the lowest form of humanity. I give it a one out of ten for making me think about building a gas chamber. 

 

Movie review "Parasite"...

A Korean film dubbed to English that is two hours long. A dark movie that has no redeeming quality about being poor and selfish. I give it a five out of ten for just being a weird foreign movie.

 

Movie review "Jumanji Next level"...

I walked in with a negative attitude and this movie made me it's bitch! A fun romp with many twists and turns that keeps you entertained from start to finish. I give it an eight out of ten for the baboons alone!

 

Movie review "Richard Jewell"...

Eastwood is back with a new film and better dementia meds! A true story based on the Atlanta bombing that is some of Eastwood's best work since Sulley. I give it a ten out of ten for showing the injustice and how good people can overcome.

 

Movie review "Honey Boy"...

A dark story about the life and childhood of Shia Lebeouf and why he is a drunk. The movie was more like self-therapy for him. I give it a six out of ten for the message about healing from toxic people. 

 

Movie review "Dark Waters"...

A true story about the terrifying use of Teflon. Well told and acted to help see how corporations get away with killing people. I give it a nine out of ten for an unusual look at seeing what is really going on.

 

Movie review "Knives Out"...

A lot of famous people in a film that ultimately made me want to stab myself. A clumsily written movie with twists and turns that made no sense. I give it a three out of ten for the pretty mansion.

 

Movie review “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”...

A meandering church service about the divinity of Mr. Rodgers. Mother Teresa is a whore compared to Mr. Rodgers. I give it a six out of ten for picking Tom Hanks and not getting a virgin to play Mr. Rodgers.

 

Movie review "Ford vs Ferrari"...

What horse racing was to Seabiscuit this film is to car racing. A great story with great actors along with non-stop action that keeps you on the edge of your seat. I give it a nine out of ten for the laughter and the tears.

 

Movie review "Good Liar"...

A drama mystery movie that starts out a bit slow but throws the cat at you in the end. This is a story about revenge and what lengths a person will go through to get it. I give it a seven out of ten for an ending I did not expect.

 

Movie review "Doctor Sleep"...

A great homage to the original 'Shining' movie with some nifty additions. King has a way of introducing horror in new ways you never thought of. I give it a nine out of ten for the creepy weird story that kept me involved from start to end. 

 

Movie review "Countdown"...

A teen murder porn movie with a few gotchas along the way. The evil demon app kills cute people. I give it a seven out of ten for the evil demon. 

 

Movie review "Midway"...

A well-done documentary/war movie about the events that led up to the WWII battle at Midway. I found it interesting with many details I was unaware of. I give it an eight out of ten for showing the great sacrifice of our veterans.

 

Movie review “Terminator-Dark Fate”...

What do you get when you mix great actors with no chemistry and a poorly written script? TDF. Miscast actors mixed with silly story lines. I give it a five out of ten for bringing back Arnold and Linda and not much else.

 

Movie review "Maleficient 2"...

A combination of Avatar and Sleeping Beauty in a fairy tale of how love fixes everything. Jolie is over the top and has fun in a well-told story. I give it a seven out of ten for being a movie, kids will love and parents will like.

 

Movie review "Zombieland Double Tap"...

You take some great actors with great toys along with a great back story and still find a way to shit all over the audience. The story was inconsistent as well as the characters as it seems it was written by a twelve year old. I give a generous six out of ten for the blond as she was the best part of the movie.

 

Movie review "Jexi"...

A silly, goofy movie about an AI phone that makes a guy it's bitch. Some funny lines along with a boy meets girl twist that keeps you in. I give it a seven out of ten for the deviant phone sex and dick pics.

 

Movie review "Gemini Man"...

A slow, clunky, predictable move with a lot of hitting people. It was so cookie cutter I walked out. I give it a three out of ten for the jaded hitman story that has been told one thousand times.

 

Movie review "Joker"...

Phoenix is no Ledger as Ledger played joker as a charismatic, insane psychopath, while Phoenix was a dark, creepy, weirdo. A somewhat clunky, slow paced film that presented hopelessness. I give it seven out of ten for a movie I could care less about seeing again.

 

Movie review "Overcomer"...

So life is crap till Jesus decides to dole you out some favors if you say you like him. This move is nothing more than a church service. I give it a one out of ten for hypocrisy and false expectations. **

** I want to make a film called "Under Achiever" as a sequel to this movie. It is about an atheist that wins the lottery.

 

Movie review "Rambo Last Blood"...

A pretty good revenge porn movie and not much else. Stallone rolls along with fifty gory ways to kill people that are bad. I give it a seven out of ten for a seventy-three year old still playing a tough guy.

 

Movie review "Ad Astra"...

'2001 a space odyssey', with two hours of close ups of Brad Pitts face and he never took his shirt off once. Slow, tedious, and suffocating as you wait for something that never happens. I give it a three out of ten for not enough Baboon.

 

Movie review "Gold Finch"...

A two and a half-hour long drawn out story that could have been told in one paragraph. Perhaps best described as redemption through theft. I give it a six out of ten for less than good character development.

 

Movie review "Hustlers"...

Perhaps foremost is Jennifer Lopez wanting to show off her workout body. A true story based on people you could care less about knowing their story. I give it a five out of ten for making me never want to go to a strip club.

 

Movie review "Peanutbutter Falcon"...

A positive story about friendship and family as well as how people connect. A great line up of actors and a well-told story. I give it a nine out of ten for giving Dakota a chance to keep her clothes on.

 

Movie review “ IT 2”...

A mishmash of goonies and Insane Clown Posse, mixed with exceptionally stupid adults. When you know the clown gets off on scaring, why constantly split up and wait for him to scare you? I give it a two out of ten for mixing hate crime, love story, and friend bonding with a horror movie.

 

Movie review "Good Boys"...

An adult, kids, adult movie that seemed to not know what audience it was appealing to. Kids were portrayed in one moment as exceptionally stupid and the next, quite clever. I give it a six out of ten for the endless sex toy jokes.

 

Movie review "Forty-Seven Meters Down - Uncaged"...

This movie is what Jaws 4 was to Jaws 1 except worse. Bad shark dummies and endless shots of barefoot fetish swimming. I give it a two out of ten for slobbering all over the first movie.

 

Movie review "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark"...

A scary story about scary stories with some creepy characters and some good gotchas. To me, it was ok but a bit predictable. I give it a six out of ten for the PC part of the story that turned me off.

 

Movie review "Hobbs and Shaw"...

Two gym rats play the dumb and dumber of over the top stunts and bad murder porn. The heart of the movie is that family dysfunction is best resolved by gratuitous violence and killing people. I give it a four out of ten for taking "Fast and Furious" to another level.

 

Movie review "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood"...

Inglorious Bastards get Charles Manson with the twist you will not see coming. Three hours of Brad and Leo as they develop character and Tarantino playing you like a fish. I give it a nine out of ten for building to an oh so satisfying end.

 

Movie review "Lion King 2"...

If you are a child or have children you will like the cgi and all the talking animals. Basically the cartoon is made into a real animal movie with the same story. I give it an eight out of ten if you are a child four out of ten if you are an adult.

 

Movie review "Crawl"...

Jaws mixed with the Poseidon Adventure only with alligators. What can you say about a movie that makes you root for the alligators to please kill the main actors for being stupid. I give a three out of ten for making me want to crawl under my house.

 

Movie review "Stuber"...

Someone thought it would be funny to put a big guy with a little guy and have him kill people; it was not. Clunky plot with actors that had no chemistry. I give it a one out of ten for the hilarious scene of them hitting each other in the nuts...not.

 

Movie review "Spiderman - Far from Home"...

Jake Gyllenhaal sells out to the superhero franchise with an outfit that looks like he molested a Christmas tree. If you like hearing the same plot and story eighty-seven times you will love his movie, I did not. I give it a four out of ten for the kill me now look on Gyllenhaal's face.

 

Movie review "Yesterday"...

This film is a reminder there are still people out there that can tell a good story. A positive move that will have you singing along as it takes you down memory lane. I give it a ten out of ten for the message as to where true happiness is found.

 

Movie review "Annabelle Comes Home"...

As good as the last one which I thought was pretty good. Teenagers let the dogs out and then experience the consequences. I give it an eight out of ten for the creepy little girl.

 

Movie review "Toy Story 4"...

Great movie if you are a Disney whore, under the age of three or really into sporks. Once again demon possessed toys have to protect humans from themselves. I give it a one out of ten if you are an adult and have an IQ above 70.

 

Movie review "Godzilla 2"...

Apparently written by a nine-year-old Japanese child with short term memory issues. With the plot, it was ok to kill six billion people but do not harm the daughter. I give it a two out of ten for not knowing who the bad guys were and wishing all the main characters were killed.

 

Movie review "Shaft"...

Better than expected with Samuel Jackson lightening things up a bit. The film was slow paced and predictable with drug dealers kidnapping and not knowing what to do with the victim, I give it a seven out of ten for the 1970 Chevelle.

  

Movie review "Secret Life of Pets 2"...

Cute, but not near as good as the first one. The story lacked direction and lurched in different directions. I give it a seven out of ten for the old cat lady.

 

Movie review "Rocketman"...

A truly great story that details the life of Elton John artistically. Excellent music and great acting in a movie that seemed more like therapy. I give it a ten out of ten for showing how a man evolved from loathing to loving himself.

  

Movie review "Aladdin 2"...

Walt Disney actually rose from the dead and said, "Please kill me now." So now we know the end of Will Smith's career. I give it a four out of ten for the kids and the Bollywood rape of Arabic culture.

 

Movie review "Brightburn"...

Now we know what would happen if Superman was evil. Predictable script with some really gory murder scenes. I give it a six out of ten for the red eyes and the crappy superhero outfit.

 

 Movie review "John Wick 3"...

What planes, trains, and automobiles are to travel; horses, dogs, and broken glass are to murder porn. Not as good as Wick 2 as there is less story with non stop fighting and twice the body count. I give it a seven out of ten for Halle Berry completely stealing the show for about ten minutes.

  

Movie review "Hustle"...

A bad remake of 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' done badly with chicks. The lead actors h absolutely no connection with each other. I give it a four out of ten for the trailer having funny parts not in the movie.

 

Movie review "Poms"...

Diane Keaton in how old people find a meaning in life being cheer leaders. If you are over the age of seventy you will love this movie. i give it a five out of ten for making the elderly giggle.

 

Movie review "Avengers - End Game"...

A fairly well done super hero movie with some funny writing along the way. If you can guess who wins you are not a Rocket Scientist. I give it a seven out of ten for fat Thor.

 

  

Movie review "Long Shot"...

Two people that are dysfunctional in relationships try to make a movie about a dork getting the hot chick. It was painful watching them trying so hard to be cute. I give it a two out of ten for a poor attempt at giving false hope to every dweeb on the face of the earth.

  

Movie review "Hell Boy'...

Big red demon with daddy issues that tries to be funny. The film offered a lot of eight-year-old inspired grossness. I give it a four out of ten for just being weird.

  

Movie review "US"...

A creepy, weird, disjointed, story that has little logic and a lot of weed-induced creativity. As I see it clones of everyone in the world, decide to kill their genetic starters. I give it a three out of ten for making me say over and over again, "But that makes no sense whatsoever."

  

Movie review "Captain Marvel"...

Captain, is a girl, aliens with British Accents, cat fear, set up movie for new Avengers, video game set up; just a few things I did not like about this movie. Super Hero movie formula; happy, bad guy, fight and lose to bad guy, fight and win, setup next movie. I give it a one out of ten for delivering nothing but the same old crap.

  

Movie review "How to Train Your Dragon 2"...

How to train yourself to sit through a kids cartoon for two hours and not kill yourself. Disney formula; Happy cute characters, bad guy, fight bad guy he wins, fight bad guy he wins, fight bad guy he wins, kill bad guy, live happily ever after. I give it a two out of ten because I am above the age of five and possess logical thought.

  

Movie review "Aleta"...

A sci-fi regurgitation of superhero and Avatar type characters. Good visuals, CGI and a fairly nice story along with the setup for the next prequel. I give it a seven out of ten for bringing back Robocop.

 

Movie review "Fighting With My Family"...

A wrestling movie based on a true story of how to be a famous fake wrestler. A come from nothing movie about overcoming the odds to have a crowd clap for you. I give it a seven out of ten for the family love theme.

  

Movie review "Bumble Bee"...

Transformers with the cute puppy one. If you love Transformers then this would be considered one of their finer efforts. I give it a six out of ten as I am not a fan and do not like Volkswagens.

 

Movie review "Escape Room"...

Saw mixed with Final Destination with the truly enjoyable murdering of millennia’s. This movie is much better if you root for the murderer because you just keep winning! I give it a five out of ten for recycling the same story from every murder movie.

 

Movie review "Glass"...

So much more to work with and so much less being delivered. The beast guy is a great actor but he could not carry "M's" poor script and predictable ending. I give it six out of ten for doing so much with Split to deliver so little with Glass

 

Movie review "Aquaman"...

Imagine almost three hours of Roc em Soc em robots except with fish people. A movie with a lot of great visuals and I am not talking about Aqua man’s chest. I give it a four out of ten for making a movie to set up a gaming platform.

 

Movie review "Creed II"...

Rocky four was no Rocky and Creed two was no Creed. Stallone pulled off another one for the money without a care for character development. I give it a two out of ten for making me want to hit a punching bag.

  

Movie review "Basis of Sex"...

The life work of Judge Ginsburg is represented in this movie. A bit slow in spots and drawn out but interesting presentation of the court battle for women's rights. I give it an eight out of ten for educating me about her life.

 

 

2018


Movie review "Bird Box"...

'Space Between Two Mountains' mixed with 'Walking Dead'' with a little 'Jungle Fever' dropped in. The new fad in movies seems to be white women going after any race but their own romantically. I give it a six out of ten for the Bullock over acting.

 

Movie review "Holmes and Watson"...

Imagine a gay man wanting to take a dump on 'Talladega Nights' and 'Step Brothers' and that about sums up this movie. With a good director and script these guys are hilarious but in this case they just looked stupid. I give it a four out of ten for wasting such good comedic talent.

  

Movie review "Marwen"...
A true story about how a person copes with severe trauma using Barbie dolls and stilettos. A weird story that just keeps you watching to see what happens next. I give it a seven out of ten for the typical chick flick happy ending.

Movie review "Mortal Engines"...
A steam punk version of 'Star Wars' written by a twelve year old gamer with a 'Twilight' fetish. Matrix Mr. Smith reprises his role as bad guy with a bimbo blond daughter with pink eye. I give it a two out of ten for the visuals and funky vehicles as acting was twilight worthy.

Movie review "Mule"...
Eastwood redoes "Gran Torino" but not as well while trying to work out his personal issues being a bad father. Fairly well developed story most will enjoy. I give it a seven out of ten for the happy unhappy ending.

 

Movie review "Robin Hood"...

A miscast jumble of characters crammed into a story written by someone with ADHD. Why have someone that looks like a twelve-year-old play Robin Hood? I give it a three out of ten for making me walk out of something I had high hopes for.

Movie review "Creed II"...

OK, this was Rocky twelve that copied Rocky four and did it badly. There was no connection between the characters and even less with the story. I give it a two out of ten for seeing the ending from twenty miles away.

 

Movie review "Hunter Killer"...

A bit of a clunky military movie that presents an optimistic view of mankind. Perhaps this film was to encourage people to look at the bigger picture. I give it a seven out of ten for the lesson about trusting others.

Movie review "Fantastic Beasts 2"...

You have to read all the Harry Potter books before you see this movie to understand what is going on: I did not nor do I intend to. A bunch of weird things jumping around and coming out of suitcases. I give it a seven out of ten if you are a Harry Potter groupie.

 

Movie review "A Simple Favor'...

A convoluted murder, drama, comedy, with kids. I was not sure what I was watching till the end but the movie was entertaining. I give it a seven out of ten for the nifty car scene at the end.

Movie review "Juliet Naked"...

Why do people think if you have a British accent you are somehow interesting? A slow paced chick flick with boring people that can't make up their minds on what they want. I give it a four out of ten for helping me understand why we won the revolution.

 

Movie review "Peppermint"...

A sappy white female version of John Wick in which murder porn flows freely on Mexicans. Some good quotes and better than expected script. I give it a seven out of ten for the the girl power revenge.

Movie review "Final Operation"...

Bad man gets caught after getting away with it for several years. The movie misses the point that evil people just don't give a damn. I give it a five out often for playing what has been seen a hundred times.

 

Movie review "Mile 22"...

Weird, action movie that was trying to make a statement while trying to compensate for Wahlberg's small penis. The repetition of dialogue and the snapping rubber band was maddening. I give it a five out of ten for saying the Russians are bad-asses.

Movie review "Christopher Robin"...

A magical journey into a child's mind and finding what the most important things in life are. A nice tale to sit back and relax and enjoy. I give it an eight out of ten for making me understand the backstory to the president of China.

Movie review "Slenderman"...

A creepy horror film that attempts to solidify the urban legend of slenderman. Teenagers continue to walk backward and avoid being with someone to allow their demise. I give it a six out of ten for the scary fingers.

 

Movie review "Crazy Rich Asians"...

A Disney version of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' except with Asians, no BDSM or sex just exceptionally bad acting. The film helps to explain that no matter what nationality, money can make you do amazingly stupid things. I give it a four out of ten for the happy ending I could see from ten miles away.

Movie review "Meg"...

A lighthearted fun movie about a murderous monster shark that more or less stays in the 'shallow' water. Jason Statum is in fine form as yet another tough guy that manages to take off his shirt. I give it a seven out of ten for the little girl that stole the show.

 

Movie review "The Spy Who Dumped Me"...

I walked in thinking I was going to hate this but got t-boned by a good movie. A hilarious chick flick with funny lines and plot twists that keep you laughing from the start to the credits. I give it a nine out of ten for the gratuitous girly violence.

Movie review "Mission Impossible - Fallout"...

It is an 'impossible mission' for anyone to set through this bomb of a movie. Tom Cruise continues to deal with his mental psychosis by doing movies about his warped perceptions. I give it a one out of ten for making me fallout of my chair and crawl to the exit.

Movie review "Equalizer 2"...

Mr. Washington is in fine form as a defender of the innocent. A balanced movie with a couple of slow spots but overall a very good story to watch. I give it an eight out of ten for the theme that good triumphs over evil by beating the crap out of it.

 

Movie review "Unfriended - Dark Web"...

The 'Purge' mixed with evil hackers and exceptionally stupid millennials. A nice paced drama and showing the extent of how your life can be invaded by the internet. I give it a seven out of ten for making you think twice about how you use your computer.

Movie review "Alpha"...

A story about how ancient man came to use dogs as pets. The move was kind of slow paced and the rest was pretty good. I give it a seven out of ten for the acting of the wolf.

 

"Skyscraper"...

A sappy Chinese version of 'Diehard' with Dwayne Johnson make several attempts to fall off a tall building. Bruce Willis just did it much better. I give it a five out of ten for the words "I love you" being stated forty-seven times.

"Ant-Man and Wasp Woman"...

Paul Rudd is a goofy, sappy, Walt Disney bitch that is making a sad attempt at being a superhero. An illogical choppy storyline filled with a lot of fighting and getting big and small. I give it a three out of ten for making me wish a villain could just kill them all.

"Purge The First"...

A movie based on the premise all white people and the government are evil and need to be killed by upstanding black people.If the roles in the movie were reversed, this would be called a blatantly racist film. I give it a two out of ten for the machine gun drones.

 

Movie review "Incredibles 2"...


If you are above the age of three or prone to seizures, you will find this an incredible waste of time. Yet another Disney cookie cutter with a lot of screaming and jumping around. I give it a three out of ten for the all men are 'stupid' theme throughout the movie.

Movie review "Jurassic World - Fallen Kingdom"...


OK, all dinosaurs want to do is eat each other and chase humans who make incredibly stupid decisions. If you love two hours of people screaming run and dinosaurs ripping people in half this is your movie, I did not. I give it a two out of ten for basically being the same movie for the third time in a row.

Movie review "Tag"...

 

What is it about grown men behaving like children that is so captivating? A variation of a Jack ass theme with plenty of laughs along the way with guys being dumb. I give it an eight out of ten for Jeremy Renner breaking both arms while filming trying to not get tagged.

 

Movie review "Hotel Artemis"...

A weird futuristic film that involved Jody Foster in a role that was simply strange. Jeff Goldblum and the big guy from 'Guardians' could not save this movie. I give it a five out of ten for the chick that beat the crap out of everybody.

Movie review "Upgrade"...

A sci-fi movie that was a mixture of 'Blade Runner' and "Punisher'. Gratuitous violence mixed with a storyline that gives several interesting twists and turns. I give it a nine out of ten for the evil stubs computer.

 

Movie review "Solo - Star Wars"...

Solo, no go, Ron Howard dumbo, boring Disney cookie cutter with too much clutter. The movie was ok but just packed with trying to get the political correctness formula into every aspect of the movie. I give it a six out of ten for making me fall asleep halfway through.

Movie review "Adrift"...

A true story based on a wrecked sailboat and how they survived. What happens when you find your soulmate and they go through trauma? I give it an eight out of ten for the ending and how people move on from tragedy.

 

Movie review "Deadpool 2"...


A collage of snarky remarks mixed with a cavalcade of story shifts and characters nobody cares about. This film fell out of the top of a politically correct tree and hit every limb on the way down. I give it a seven out of ten for a death scene that was more irritating than funny.

 

Movie review "Book Club"...

 

Ok, this movie made me its bitch!  Great movie with funny lines and a great message on many levels about moving on with life and finding happiness.  I give it a ten out of ten for showing old women get horny from reading 'Fifty Shades'.

 

Movie review "Rampage"...

 

I expected nothing but was pleasantly surprised as it was an exciting movie with a lot of twists and turns.  This will have no Oscar nominations, but if you want a fun exciting film this is a must see.  I give it a seven out of ten for the white King Kong and flying wolf.

 

Movie review "Avengers: Infinity War"...

 

The apple dumpling gang versus the gunslinger from Westworld.  A clunky insertion of every Marvel character on the face of the earth who are all fighting for lines to say. I give it a seven out of ten for making Black Panther the shortest lived superhero.

 

Movie review "Truth or dare"...

 

A very gratifying millennial murder porn feature in which seeing them die is merciful to their acting abilities. The movie actually caused me to cheer every time someone died.  I give it a three out of ten for the funky faces.

 

Movie review "Overboard"...

 

A Mexican flipped version of Overboard that if you have seen the original, is more like fingernails raking across a chalkboard. Even the dumbest Mexican on the face of the earth would not agree too what she told him.  I give it a one out of ten for pooping all over a great movie with this completely insipid remake.

 

Movie review "A Quiet Place"...

 

A film about mentally challenged people who continue to make noise to get monsters kill them.  There were so many places in this movie where I wanted to stand up and scream, "Why are you doing that??". I give it a one out of ten for taking them two years to discover that you could just shoot the monsters in the head.

 

Movie review "Life of the Party"...

 

This movie contained the three "S" trifecta; sappy, silly, stupid, with McCarthy talking non-stop. This was written as revenge divorce porn for whatever wrongly divorced person would like to see happen.  I give it a two out of ten for documenting the downhill slide of Melissa McCarthy's career.  

 

Movie review "Blockers"...

 

A cacophony of imbeciles trying to be funny while poorly acting like teenagers and adults.  If projectile vomiting is hilarious to you then don't miss this movie.  I give it a three out of ten for a few funny lines mixed with a lot of stupid stuff. 

 

Movie review "Miracle Season"...

 

A movie based on a true story of how dead volleyball players make winning seasons! A pretty good film overall that shows how to move on from loss and grief.  I give it a seven out of ten for making me appreciate those in my life.   

 

Movie review "I Feel Pretty"...

 

Basically, this is the story of 'Dumbo' except with people.  This is a much better effort from Schumer with a better story and a good statement about life and self-esteem.  I give it an eight out of ten for the naked scene alone.

 

 Movie review "Player One"...

 

A futuristic 'Avatar' mixed with 'Second Life' in which characters come to life in simulations and look the way they wish.  Spielberg does this one well with good character development and many funny lines along with a pretty good story.  I give it a nine out of ten for great 1980's homage to music and game characters.

 

Movie review "Unsane"...

 

A thriller about being put in circumstances that are out of your control in a mental institution.  Well acted with twists and turns that have you guessing what is real. I give it an eight out of ten for making me never want to enter a Behavioral Health Center.

 

Movie review "Pacific Realm Uprising"...

 

Ok, I hate Transformers, but this was just a pretty good movie! Good character development, funny lines and self-effacing heroes made it a fun movie to watch. I give it an eight out of ten for Scott Eastwood, he was a good fit for this film.  

 

Movie review "Strangers"...

 

Ever see the Geico commercial about bad horror movies? Well, they could have used this film instead. I was actually rooting for the ax murder to do the merciful thing and please end these stupid people lives. I give it a three out of ten for the truck, i lived the flaming truck.

 

Movie review "Red Sparrow"...

 

Jennifer Lawrence really likes to smoke cigarettes and get naked without having sex. Let's see Russians are evil, Americans can turn them into good people.  I give it a three out of ten as I don't smoke and her body is not that good.

 

Movie review "Tomb Raider"...

 

So this chick wants to not admit her father is dead so she finds him and causes him to get killed.  A lot of running and running and running and everything she was told not to do she did.  I give it a four out of ten for being way too long and wishing she would trip and fall.

 

Movie review "Gringo"...

 

A try to comedy that really was not that funny as it made fun of a man for trying to be a good person.  The message seemed to be evil wins most of the time.  I give it a five out of ten for making me wish I was not watching the demise of a person and laughing about it. 

 

Movie review "A Wrinkle in Time"...

 

More like a wrinkle in the careers of Oprah and Witherspoon.  An obnoxious convoluted move that seemed to have no direction other than weird people. I give it a two out of ten for the person that had the idea to use a bedazzler on Oprah's face.

 

Movie review Death Wish...

Bruce Willis attempts the remake of the death wish series where happy people get killed and need revenge porn. Get ready for some really gross murder scenes and the ending is somewhat predictable. I give it a seven out of ten for making the bad guys lose once again.

Movie review Game Night...

Jason Batemen is in fine form in this offbeat sarcastic comedy. Great characters and good script that will keep you guessing till the end. I give it a nine out of ten for making me laugh out loud more than once, especially the bullet removal scene.

 

Annihilation...

 

An alien end of the world movie that is so bad you either walk out or want to kill yourself.  Portman apparently could not turn down the paycheck thinking her career would cover her ass.

 

Black Panther...

 

"Shaft" in leotards whipping everyone's ass with his girls to back him up.  Good movie with interesting new weapons and suit. I give it an eight out of ten for being tongue in cheek fun with a positive ending. 

 

15:17 To Paris...

 

Clint Eastwood forgot how to make a movie or is he just getting old? Tedious, long movie with terrible acting and less of a script.  I give it a two out of ten for taking a great story and screwing it up.  

 

Fifty Shades Freed...

 

I consider this the best of the series with more of a story line.  The BDSM was less with mostly just sexual scenes.  I give it an eight out of ten for having a few twists and turns and interesting toys.  

 

Hostiles...

 

I expected less and actually got a lot more.  A well-done film that shows how life can turn out completely different than what you expect. I give it a ten out of ten for being a story, soldiers and survivors can truly relate to.

 

Proud Mary...

 

I poor start at trying to make a black woman be a bad ass.  Predictable plot and absolutely horrid acting.  I give it a two out of ten for making me roll my eyes till I nearly passed out.

 

Insidious: The Last Key

 

OK, so all bad spirits want to chase and kill people.  In the movie, they were not very good at either.  I give it a one out of ten for making me go to sleep.

 

The Commuter...

 

"Taken" with a train in which an old man pretends he can beat up young people. Predictable and insipid the plot was totally predictable.  I give it a three out of ten for making me want the train to crash.

 

The Post...

 

Fisty hours worth of information crammed into two hours of cluttered actors trying to crawl over the top of each other to make a scene. Meryl Strep played a rich old lady, how thrilling and what a stretch for her! I give it a two out of ten for making me want to burn newspaper and the poor development of a great story.

 

Molly's Game...

 

A movie based on a true story about a girl that managed card games for poker. It has some interesting twists and shows how greed never solves anything. I give it a eight out of ten for teaching me about gambling.

 

12 Strong...

 

Basically a war masturbation movie. If you like to watch endless machine-gunning of men dressed in curtains this is your movie.  I give it a three out of ten for the inability to hit a target ten yards away on both parties.

 

Den of Thieves...

 

A dark movie that gives no happy ending.  Everyone is screwing everyone for money, I give it a five out of ten for being predictable.


2017


Movie review "The Shape of Water"...

 

A romantic love story about a swamp monster and a mute woman. A lovely story that shows how loneliness and love can somehow provide healing. I give it a ten out of ten for the beautiful poem at the end.  

 

Movie review "All the Money in the World"...

 

A based on true story of the founder of Getty oil and the greedy life that he lived and how cruel he was to his family. When his son was kidnapped he would not pay the ransom. I give it eight out of ten for depicting the sad results of greed.

 

Movie review "Jumanji"...

 

If you are a child and like video games then this is the movie for you! If you are an adult, this slow-paced predictable two-hour video game will make you want to kill yourself.  I give it a four out of ten for trying to rekindle the chemistry between the Rock and Hart.

 

Movie review "Father Figures"...

 

A slow paced pretend comedy that was more weird than funny with actors that did not like each other.  Funny moments were offset with slow pacing and odd script writing by someone that apparently never had a family. I give it a five out of ten simple for bad casting and script.

 

Movie review "Downsizing"...

 

I expected a silly comedy, but instead got an entertaining drama about loss, survival, and finding your identity.  A well-written story with twists and turns that brings forth a positive message. I give it a ten out of ten for the love fuck.

 

Movie review "Star Wars - The Last Jedi"...

 

You do not want the 'Heroes' in this movie to try and save you as they kill 90% of the people they are trying to save.  A series of choppy insipid plots filled with non needed missions to try and make setups for video gamers. I give it a four out of ten simply for how good Mark Hamill looked and telling the same story for the sixth time.

 

Movie review "Wonder Wheel"...

 

A Woody Allen directed movie that is well done with a story that makes you think about life and relationships.  While not all movies get to have a happy ending it seems this more relates to how life actually is.  I give it a nine out of ten for Oscar-worthy performances and good story telling.

 

Movie review "The Disaster Artist"...

 

This movie is proof no matter how big of an idiot you are if you have money you can buy success.  A well-told story by James Franco of the worst movie ever made. I give it a nine out of ten for explaining how weird rich people find success. 

 

 

Movie review "Wonder"...

 

A predictable movie with a sixty-year-old woman trying to pretend to be a thirty-something.  Movies where people pretend to be parents when it is apparent they have never raised children are irritating. I give it a five out of ten for the acting of the boy.

 

Movie review "Three Billboards"...

 

A movie about survival, revenge, and frustration.  Everyone in this movie did not get what they wanted and wound up basically doing something else.  I give it a six out of ten for an ending that resolved nothing.

 

Movie review "Just Getting Started"...

 

It is sad to see the demise of such great actors to result in this train wreck.  There are some things you just can't be paid enough money to do but apparently not for these elderly.  I give it a two out of ten for a script that was complete elder abuse.  

 

Movie review "COCO"...

 

A church cartoon to explain Mexican mysticism as it relates to 'Day of the Dead', It was uncomfortable to see Disney teaching children that candles and a photograph prevents your dead relatives from evaporating. I give it a six out of ten for cute characters including multicolored spirit demons.

 

Movie review "Justice League"...

 

Yet another bowl movement of superheroes that was delivered in constipated little turds of trying to introduce each character.  A poorly done clunky film with pretty people and the uncreative theme of good guys somehow always defeat bad guys. I give it a one out of ten even though this dog will make one hundred million because people have nothing better to do. 

 

Movie review "Murder on the Orient Express"... 

 

Imagine an intelligent "Inspector Clouseau" and a gaggle of famous movie stars buried in a convoluted murder mystery. I wanted to commit suicide at least three times before it got the insipid ending.  I give it a three out of ten for making me beg them to end this debacle.

 

Movie review "Thor Ragnarok"...

 

I have been exhausted by the horrid superhero movies lately but this was a huge change of pace.  Someone actually went out and hired some good writers to build character and have the heroes make fun of themselves. I give it a nine out of ten for a great story and fun movie. 

 

Movie review "Daddy's Home 2"...

 

A silly, funny, kind of stupid movie that is good if you want to stay in the shallow comedy holiday movie genre. Some great lines and funny skits with good actors getting together for a laugh.  I give it an seven out of ten for keeping it light with a nice holiday getaway.

 

Movie review "Thank you for your service"...

 

A true story portrayal of how our veterans are screwed over by the government they were willing to give their lives for. A sad reality of twenty-two veterans committing suicide each day is something you must be aware of.  I give it a ten out of ten for helping the public know what is happening to the men who love our country most. 

 

Movie review "Foreigner"...

 

Yet another great revenge porn movie with Jackie Chan basically playing Clint Eastwood.  Something only seen in the movies; complete justice with all the bad guys done in. I give it an eight out of ten for good pacing and story.  

 

Movie review "Snowman"...

A two-hour murder mystery story to show how deeply Michael Fassbender is addicted to cigarettes. The constant lighting and blowing smoke made me completely forget the actual plot of the movie. I give it a two out of ten for showing how stupid pretty people look chain smoking.

 

Movie review "Happy Death Day"...


Think about 'Groundhog Day' except getting murdered at the end of every day by a team mascot. This was a well-done movie for the theme with an interesting twist at the end. I give it a seven out of ten for being a good murder chick flick.

 

Movie review "Bladerunner 2"...

 

A dark dystopian sci-fi story with fantastic scenery along with amazing special effects that is based on a five-minute storyline that is three hours long.  I feel asleep twice. I give it a five out of ten simply for Harrison Ford.

 

Movie review "American Made"...

 

A revealing story about how Nancy Reagan started "Just say no to Drugs" While her husband created the drug cartels.  This will never be a popular movie as it tells too much/  I give it a nine out of ten for helping explain the history our government wants you to forget.

 

Movie review "Kingsman 2"...

 

A muddled cacophony of absurd storylines and macabre humor mixed with two minutes of Channing Tatum and an evil Burt Reynolds look alike. The interpretation of Kentucky as Texas and southern people was mind-numbing. I give it a three out of ten for wasting my time.     

 

Movie review "Mother"...

 

Take anxiety pills before you go to this movie as you will find you want to scream at some point.  The director seemed to think extreme close-ups of Jennifer Lawrence face while bouncing the camera would be amazing. I give this a one out of ten for attempting to drive me crazy before the ending.

 

Movie review "American Assassin"...

 

A revenge murder movie with the villain being terrorists and Michael Keaton being a bad ass. The characters really did not seem to like each other and the story was somewhat jumbled between the killing everyone.  I give it a five out of ten for being predictable and boring.

 

Movie review "IT"...

 

A mixture of Goonies, Stranger Things, bullying, rape, incest, racism, parent murder, Jews, and a little something about a creepy clown. Such a waste of a great evil character with a jumbled mess of political correctness.  I give it a six out of ten for the waste of a great evil clown.

 

Movie review "Lucky Logan"...

 

Imagine throwing a handful of quality actors at a redneck comedy in which no one knew how to act like a redneck and due to the script, they are not funny.  This is like nightmare in "Talladega Nights" with such a waste of talent.  I give it a six out of ten for the little girl who stole the show.  

 

Movie review "Kidnapped"...

 

Haley Berry answers the question, "How many people would you kill to save your child?"  An over the top action movie that makes little sense with bad decisions and impossible plot twists. I give it a three out of ten for turning Haley into an aborigine by the end of the movie. 

 

Movie review "Hitman's Bodyguard"...

 

A romantic murder movie that you can take your girl to and still get your needed mayhem.  Jackson and Reynolds have good chemistry as Jackson makes MF an almost basic part of the vocabulary.  I give it a nine out of ten for the idea that love conquers all even if you have to kill everyone.   

 

Movie review "Annabelle-Creation"...

 

A much better horror movie than I expected with some good gotcha scenes. Why these children continued to go back to the room where the doll attacked them without turning on the light kind of got tiring almost in a funny way.  I give it a seven out of ten for scaring me a little and asking the characters why they keep messing with the doll.

 

Movie review "Black Tower"...

 

You have to read the book to understand much of this movie, I did not. I spent most of the movie trying to figure out who the actual bad guy was and why he wanted to destroy the universe. I give it a four out of ten for having done less with so much more.

 

Movie review "Girls Night Out"...

 

If your cup of tea is watching women talk filthy and behave worse then you will love this movie. I think if it as a bad "Hangover" for black women.  I give it a five out of ten as it is not my cup of tea.

 

Movie review "Dunkirk"...

 

The better title is 'Dumb-Kirk' as it would appear the director had some type of fetish for killing rats in a barrel except using humans instead. Horrible music and dog fights using primarily close ups of pilot's faces instead of showing the fight. I give this a two out of ten for making me want watch a real war movie.

 

Movie review "War for the Planet of the Apes"...

 

Imagine a horribly slow paced mixture of 'Malcolm X' and 'Hogans Heroes' except with monkeys. The angry monkey look on Cesar's face wore thin after two hours and more, monkeys are just not good actors. I give this a five out of ten for making me never want to go the zoo again.

 

Movie review "Wish"...

 

Yet another recycled horror movie where a box is bad with "Final Destination" overtones. The primary protagonist proved that bad acting cannot save a predictable script.  I give it a six out of ten for the ending as it made me say thank god!

 

Movie review "Spiderman Homecoming"...

 

Ok, it is getting to a point where the cartoon characters are saying, "Really that is impossible even for me." The new millennial Spiderman exhausted me with his illogical ability to over come gravity and basic physics while appearing to be surprised about ten thousand times. I give it a four out of ten for hold a gun to Robert Downy's head to force him to try and save this bomb.   

 

Movie review "Atomic Blond"...

 

A slow paced two-hour cigarette commercial based on a spy movie.  A true he woman man-hater movie to work out your revenge issues.  I give it a six out of ten for the gratuitous violence and the creative ways of killing people (men). 

 

Movie review "House"...

 

A silly, goofy, sappy, film that is kind of fun and pretty good after all. If your a Will Ferrell fan or Amy Poller you will like this, if not probably hate it.  I give it a six out of ten for the amputation scenes alone. 

 

Movie review "Baby Driver"...

 

Think of 'Footloose' except with cars and you will get into this movie.  The story has a good rhythm and keeps you rooting for the good guy.  I give it an eight out of ten for the best over the top car driving in the first scene!

 

Movie review "Transformers - The Last Knight"...

 

It seems apparent Michael Bay has developed a severe addiction to cocaine.  This movie is a collection of chaos from start to finish of a drug addled brain. I give a one out of ten because out of five sequels no one can figure out that machine guns do not hurt robots.  

 

Movie review "47 Meters Down"...

 

An edge of the seat thrill ride from start to finish. One of the best suspense movies that you will see involving underwater, sharks, and women.  I give it a ten out of ten for nearly putting me under my seat more than once!

 

Movie review "Mummy"...

 

Apparently, Tom Cruise is still trying to work out his personal issues by making movies about himself.  Let's see, evil mummy stopped by bad guy who finds redemption by sacrificing himself, poor Tommy. I give it a seven out of ten for good CGI and evil mummy.   

 

Movie review "Wonder Woman"...

 

Another superhero movie with a bit of a heart and good story.  The characters had good charisma and the message of love was a positive one.  I give it an eight out of ten for a fairly positive setup to the next comic book hero.

 

Movie review "Rough Night"...

 

A mix of Weekend at Bernie's with Hangover but instead with women, poor taste, and not funny.  This movie is a statement that all women are stupid, sex-starved, druggies that accidentally kill people. I give it a two out of ten for insulting the human race.  

 

Movie review "Alien Covenant"...

 

A further telling of the Alien story by connecting 'Prometheus' to the original Alien and showing how they were created.  It was a good space movie and the story was interesting.  I give it an eight out of ten simply for killing James Franco in the first five minutes.

 

Movie review "Baywatch"...

 

IF you are a fan of Baywatch you will love this movie, if not you might like it anyway. Lots of beautiful bodies with a story that did not take itself seriously.  I give it a seven out of ten for the morgue scene alone.

 

Movie review "Pirates of the Caribbean 5"...

 

I found this to be a fun movie with some funny twists and turns, much better than the last couple.  While it was long Depp was in fine form and there was good casting with the characters.  I give it an eight out of ten for simple being entertaining.

 

Movie review "Everything, Everything"....

 

'Bubble Boy', except with a girl and without the comedy with love and romance mixed in.  I went in expecting less and yet got a lot more with a good story that left me with a smile on my face. I give it a nine out of ten for the belief that love prevails.

 

Movie review "King Arthur"...

 

A retelling of how King Arthur came to be along with some pretty good 3D. The film has fantastic scenery along with a great escape from reality and the belief that good conquers evil.  I give it an eight out of ten for King Arthur's abs.

 

Movie review "Guardians of the Galaxy 2"...

 

The first 'Guardians' was fantastic, this was everything it was not.  Predictable plot with forced funny lines and actors that seemed to be thinking what the hell are we doing here.  I give this a five out of ten for being so contrived I walked out the last five minutes.

 

Movie review "Unforgettable"...

 

One of the best crazy ex-movies since 'Fatal Attraction' that makes you think twice about dating.  A good story, though a bit predictable,  that builds intensity right to the end.  I give it an eight out of ten for reminding me just how evil people can be. 

 

Movie review "Going in Style"...

 

Yet another in the old farts do something that old farts do not normally do series.  This one seemed a bit tired and recycled with a few chuckles and of course the mandatory happy ending. I give it a six out of ten for the good message about friends. 

 

Movie review "The Fate of the Furious"...

 

If you are a "Furious" groupie you will love this film with it's shallow plot but crazy car stunts that blow you away.  Diesel and Rock are in fine form going through at least a dozen sleeveless shirts sized to fit a six-year-old. I give it an eight out of ten for the kung fu baby fight never to be seen or repeated again.

 

Movie review "Gifted"...

 

God, Captain America and a genius math child get in a custody battle and save a one-eyed cat.  A heavy handed chick flick with lots of crying and funny one liners.  I give it a five out of ten for having a six-year-old bitch slap an adult over and over again. 

 

Movie review "Life"...

I badly done space movie about a killer starfish and how weightless people can pull themselves through large tubes. Jake G. comes off as doing another flop for cash. I give it a three out of ten for killing Ryan Reynolds in the first five minutes...Nobody puts Ryan in the corner.

 

Movie review "Chips-Chip Happens"...

 

I typically hate remakes about tv series but this movie made me it's bitch.  Great charisma between actors and an excellent script that kept you laughing from start to finish.  I give it a nine out of ten for making something old worth seeing again!

 

Movie review "Belko Experiment"...

 

A mixture of Purge and Saw with gratuitous violence intermixed with compromised morality.  I found it a type of political statement regarding current events. I give it a six out of ten for showing us how to make America great again.

 

Movie review "Beauty and the Beast"...

 

Basically a twelve-year-old falling in love with Satan Bigfoot.  I have now heard singing and music that was even much worse than La La Land. I give it a two out of ten for putting me and most of the children attending to sleep.

 

Movie review "Kong: Skull Island"...

 

A great legacy and story that is extremely difficult to screw up, well they did it a little bit. Great seventies setting and music, excellent Kong, monsters, and actors.  I give it a seven out of ten for a girl trying to lift a helicopter and colonel killing all his men for no reason.

 

Movie review "Logan"...

 

The x-men died two movies ago the rest died in this movie in this bloated piece of crap.  Apparently, a screeching child involved in graphic murder porn is supposed to be entertaining.  I give it a two out of ten for making us think a 2016 dodge pickup sells for $8,000 along with several other incredulous breaches of logic.

 

Movie review "The Shack"...

 

A Christian propaganda film that shows how all suffering can be solved if you don't hold God accountable and live next door to Tim McGraw. It is a long movie that with illogical assumptions that almost gave me an aneurysm. Yet I give it a six out of ten for encouraging people to move on from tragedy.

 

Movie review "Get Out"...

 

Imagine an Alfred Hitchcock horror story crashing head-on into 'The Help'; that pretty well explains this movie.  A well done suspenseful movie where macabre and crazy get worse and worse until the end of the film.  I give it and eight out of ten for building tension and keeping you guessing until the end.

 

Movie review "Great Wall"...

 

An action, sci-fi, alien, adventure movie based on a gay Chinese wet dream. A Saturday matinee type film that kept me wondering, "What the hell is Matt Damon doing here?" I give it a six out of ten for having nothing to do with Donald Trump.   

 

Movie review "Fist Fight"...

 

A silly comedy with moments of laughter between rolling eyes fro sheer stupidity. A wimp finding courage story with disturbing profanity from very young children. I give a six out of ten for the funny parts. 

 

Movie review "Rings"...

 

I think this name was chosen because so many have been made they lost count. A terrible script and bad actors who think expressing fear is breathing like you lost your inhaler.  I give it a one out of ten for being bored, bummed and not scared.

 

Movie review "Fifty Shades Darker"...

 

If you are a fan of 'Fifty' you will love this movie with its mix of bondage along with a love story.  I find the movie well made following the book and the script made for a worth seeing film.  I give it an eight out of ten simply for creating the new term "kinky fuckery".

 

Movie review "John Wick: Chapter 2"...

 

If you have been screwed over and want to find a way to vent your frustration this is the movie for you. This is no chick flick with non-stop action from start to finish.  I give it a nine out of ten for gratuitous graphic revenge murder porn from start to finish. 

 

Movie review "Resident Evil: The final Chapter"

 

I always loved the RE series as each movie seemed to put effort into the story, this one failed miserably.  This is what happens when you allow gamers to write a movie that makes no sense but shoots and fights a lot of monsters.  I give it a two out of ten for raping Alice like Spielberg raped Indiana Jones... 

 

Movie review "Gold"...

 

'Wolf of Wall Street" except without the pretty girls and convoluted by a bad script that left you bored. A waste of great actors and talent while apparently trying to save a buck by using cheap writers. I give it a five out of ten for not trying harder.  

 

Movie review "La La Land"...

 

A broadway play, musical, and love story stuffed into a movie.  It started slow, with the beginning making no sense as it related to the movie. I give it a seven out of ten for the message about lost love.

 

Movie review "Hidden Fences"...

 

A great movie that shows how white people supported people for their intellect rather than the color of their skin. The story was informative as well as positive about human relations.  I give it and eight out of ten for showing a positive way for people to help each other.

 

Movie review "Split"...

 

A mixture of Psycho and Sybil that will keep you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.  An interesting explanation of DID along with a commentary about the effects of abuse make this a must see movie.  I give it a nine out of ten for keeping me guessing what was next from start to finish.

 

Movie review "Bye Bye Man"...

 

A badly done Freddie Kruger meets Jason kill youth movie.  The only way this works is if you root for the villain to kill as many stupid teenagers as possible. I give it a two out of ten for the bad script and worse acting.  

   

Movie review "A Dog's Life"...

 

If you are an animal lover, into animal reincarnation, and dogs that talk with being more intelligent than the humans, then you will love this movie. I did not and it seriously made me consider abusing animals.  I give it a four out of ten for being a kids movie to drag your parents to. 

 

Movie review "Patriot Day"...

 

I have yet to see a Peter Berg movie that is not a ten as he is the master at telling a great story.  This story of the Boston Marathon bombing brings together fascinating facts about the lives of so many affected.  I give it a ten out of ten for explaining the courage of so many.  

 

Movie review "Silence"...

Apparently, Martin Scorsese fell out of a born again tree and hit every limb on the way down. This film proves that if you invade a country and attack their culture, bad things happen to your and your followers. I give this a two out of ten for being the most graphic example of Christian masturbation since 'Passion of the Christ', even so, Martin, you are no Mel.

 

Movie review "Fences"...

 

An unhappy movie of a black version of Archie Bunker.  The message seemed your past excuses your present mistakes. I give it a five out of ten for presenting a story I just did not care to see.


2016


Movie review "Hacksaw Ridge"... $175 million
A war movie about heroes and choices that is masterfully told and directed.  Gibson does and excellent job with character development while bringing forth the reality of battle.  I give it a ten out of ten for explaining that heroes do not have to carry a gun. 

Movie review "Don't Breath"... $89 million
A survival/horror movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. This is a well-told story with good actors and a great bad guy.  I give it a ten out of ten for the best bad dog scene since Cujo.  

Movie review "Sully"... $125 million
Clint Eastwood once again weaves an excellent story with key talent.  Hanks gives and Oscar-worthy performance in a well-paced movie that kept you interested from start to finish.  I give it a ten out of ten for showing people at their best even when it is not easy.

Movie review "The Shallows"... $55 million
OMG, this is the best shark movie since Jaws!! The drama and suspense of this survival film keeps you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. I give it a ten out of ten for showcasing a director that knows how to make you squirm in your seat.

Movie review "The Secret Life of Pets".... $368 million
I walked in grumbling about another cartoon kid's movie at which this film made me it's bitch. A fantastic adult animation movie that kept me laughing from start to finish, the best I have seen in five years. I give it a ten out of ten for reminding me why I love movies and the gangster rabbit.

Movie review "Deadpool".... $363 million
A funny, action hero, gory, romantic, marvel comic movie that is pedal to the metal from start to finish.  Sometimes it is fun to relax and enjoy a good fun action movie.  I give it a ten out of ten for snarkiness alone. 
___________________________________________________________________
 

Movie review "Why Him"...

 

This is a gross, dirty, nasty, shocking and hilarious movie that is definitely not for kids, yet was much funnier than I expected. Cranston and Franco are in fine form as they drive each other crazy in this Christmas story.  I give it a nine out of ten for the toilet scene alone, let the reader use discernment. 

 

Movie review “Star Wars – Rogue 1”…

More like ‘Star Bore – Recycle 1’, this movie seemed a combination of Space Balls and the soundtrack from a 1979 Sega Star Wars game. It appears in this universe good and evil can only be bad actors with worse accents in a totally predictable script. I give it a three out of ten for R2D2 being the only one in the series that understands the basic concept of computer hacking.

Movie review “Passengers”…

 A well-written film that is a love story set to a space theme.  It is well-paced with drama and adventure including a bartender droid that is entertaining.  I give it a nine out of ten by deducting one point for the total overacting of Jennifer Lawrence.  

 

Movie review "Collateral Beauty"...

 

A story about moving on from tragedy in life.  This well-done movie will make you think about a lot of things you have to be thankful for in your life.  I give it a nine out of ten for making great thinking points about love, time, and death.

 

Movie review "Iron Will"...

 

A well done, Nashville-based documentary that traces PTSD with veterans and how they are affected.  The stories were visceral and assisted the audience to understand their suffering. I give this a nine out of ten for giving a voice to those that suffer.  

 

Movie review "Bad Santa 2"....

 

The original 'Bad Santa" was an effortless story about the bad side of Christmas, this movie just tried too hard and it seemed they were trying to force it to work. Some funny lines mixed with uncomfortable moments that did not seem to fit.  Even so I give it a seven out of ten for bringing back Thurman, but not knowing exactly what to do with him.  

 

Movie review "Allied"...

 

A sad movie that seems more of a tragic French love story set to a British theme.  The story was slow paced and at times boring, yet, you kept waiting for something to happen that explained why they were there.  I give it a seven out of ten for showing extremely good looking people making mistakes. 

 

Movie review "Fantastic Beasts..."...

 

Imagine a kind of slow paced Harry Potter movie with the bar scene from Star Wars stuffed into a suitcase.  If you are a 'Potterhead' you will love this movie if not you may find it a bit slow and predictable.  I give it an eight out of ten for interesting animals and good characters.

 

Movie review "Space"...

 

A romantic, teenybopper, space movie, sprinkled with some powerful themes about love and family.  The story line is a bit choppy but pulls you in toward the end to make this a movie worth seeing.  I give it an eight out of ten for showing we all have the opportunity to find true love even if it is a million miles away.

 

Movie review "Arrival"...

 

A slow paced story that presented mankind as too stupid to deal with aliens, sound familiar? The last thirty minutes was flash forwards and flashbacks to present the concept that having a child is the meaning to life. I give it a three out of ten for making me think about harming children before the movie was over. 

 

Movie review "Doctor Strange"...

 

Another comic book character brought to the big screen with a predictable superior weapon that he waits to use till the end of the movie. (yawn) A few funny lines along the way and some cool weapons to defend the evil apocalypse.  I give it a seven out of ten for the inception ripoff and the bald headed woman.  

 

Movie review "Hacksaw Ridge"...

 

A war movie about heroes and choices that is masterfully told and directed.  Gibson does and excellent job with character development while bringing forth the reality of battle.  I give it a ten out of ten for explaining that heroes do not have to carry a gun. 

 

Movie review "Inferno"...

 

Imagine eight hours of National Treasure and Jeopardy crammed into a two-hour movie.  Ron Howard's crack habit has apparently robbed him of the ability for character development, storytelling, and musical score. I give this a three out of ten for editing so poor, Hank's wears a watch on a couch and then fifteen seconds later claims he lost it. 

 

Movie review "Keeping Up With the Jones"...

 

A silly comedy/spy movie that was not as good as 'Spy' but gives you a few chuckles none the less.  The characters all seemed to have good chemistry and the story kept you interested.  I give it a seven out of ten for the smile on my face at the end and the back seat car chase scene.

 

Movie review "Ouija: Origin of Evil"...

 

Apparently, demons all want to possess children so they can kill people and be connected to Nazis. If that is a story line that appeals to you then this movie is a must see.  I give it a five out of ten for the great classic cars that were featured in the movie. 

 

Movie review "Priceless"...

 

A Christian/movie/commercial about human trafficking and how to donate assist.  This covered a dark topic with a fairly decent story and acting.  I give it a seven out of ten for communicating an important issue that needs our education and attention. 

 

Movie review "Jack Reacher 2"...

 

Tom Cruise apparently has a lot of personal issues that he tried to express in this movie.  He gets his ass kicked, women tell him what to do but he  goes ahead and saves them, finds a daughter he never had that loves him anyway and leaves without pursuing a relationship though he has options. I give it a six.five out of ten for raping a great character to deal with emotional problems.

 

Movie review "The Edge of Seventeen"...

 

An entertaining movie about teens and the struggles they experience along with some funny scenarios. A good movie to take your teenagers to and maybe relating to their experiences.  I give it a seven out of ten for Woody's suicide note. 

 

Movie review "The Accountant"...

 

An interesting film that explains certain aspects of autism and how they function. The story had good pacing and some interesting twists and turns mixed with graphic violence. I give it an eight out of ten for setting up a sequel/series as we want to see more of this character. 

 

Movie review "Young Frankenstein"...

 

Back on the big screen and as funny as ever.  Movies like this make you miss great writing, truly funny facial expressions, and massive sexual innuendo.  I give it a ten out of ten for humor that will have people laughing one hundred years from now.    

 

Movie review "Middle School - The worst years of my life"...

 

This was the worst two hours of my life trying to endure this piece of rubbish. This is basically a two-hour sitcom with stupid characters reeling of snarky one-liners that are not funny. I give it a one out of ten for insulting all youth in middle school.

 

Movie review "Storks"....

 

If you are over the age of three I think this movie might cause brain damage.  Yet another cookie cutter kids film with generic story line and characters. I give it a four out of ten for the schizophrenic red head.

  

Movie review "The Girl on The Train"...

 

A strange depressing movie about murder, alcoholics, voyeurs, and consummate exhibitionists. Yet another plot-holed disjointed story that makes you wish you were somewhere else.  I give it a two out of ten for the make out in the kitchen scene.    

 

Movie review "Miss Peregrine's School for Peculiar Children"...

 

A weird story about peculiar powered children set in a Walt Disney/horror/adult type movie. I think some of the monsters might give children nightmares.  I give it a seven out of ten for showing that fourteen-year-olds can fall in love and be together forever.

 

Movie review "Snowden"...

 

A story based on the real-life events of the person that leaked the NSA abuse of data procurement from the unknowing public.  The question offered is it ok to break the law to expose a much bigger breaking of the law?  I give it an eight out of ten for showing whistleblowers to not always get a break.  

 

Movie review "Masterminds"...

 

A funny but not hilarious movie based on a true story of the largest armored heist in history.  Can only SNL cast members make funny movies anymore? I give it a seven out of ten for the crazy outfits that make the film worth seeing.

 

Movie review "Deep Water Horizon'...

A intense drama survival film based on the BP oil spill in 2010. A well done movie that builds suspense right up to the end. I give it a nine out of ten for showing how corrupt BP cut corners and caused this to happen.

 

Movie review "The Magnificent Seven"...

 

A magnificent mixture of the 'Expendables' with 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid'. A great western with good chemistry between the characters that made you laugh in the midst of all the revenge.  I give it a nine out of ten for the cool way they played with their guns.

 

Movie review "Bridget Jones Baby"...

 

If you are a typical woman you will love this move, if you are a typical man you will attempt suicide before it is over. A British version of Maury Povich/Notebook that makes you understand pro-choice.  I give it a four out of ten for "Bridget" having the worst British accent on the face of the earth. 

 

Movie review "Don't Breath"...

 

A survival/horror movie that keeps you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. This is a well-told story with good actors and a great bad guy.  I give it a ten out of ten for the best bad dog scene since Cujo.  

 

Movie review "Sully"...

 

Clint Eastwood once again weaves an excellent story with key talent.  Hanks gives and Oscar-worthy performance in a well-paced movie that kept you interested from start to finish.  I give it a ten out of ten for showing people at their best even when it is not easy.

 

Movie review "Queen of Katwe"...

 

A well told story about an African girl that comes from poor surroundings to be a chess champion.  A film about a different culture and how people in poverty survive.  I give it an eight out of ten for championing the human spirit.

 

 Movie review "Blair Witch"...

 

The term 'Blair Glitch' seems more appropriate as film students operate cameras with the skill of a two-year-old. Blurry scenes and screaming mixed in with constantly saying "everything is going to be OK" does not make a scary movie.  I give it a four out of ten for the claustrophobic scene toward the end.

 

Movie review "Light Between Two Oceans"....

 

A slow paced predictable mixture of Notebook and Sommersby that made you want to kill yourself before the movie was over. The happy/tragedy tidal waves came incessantly with plot twists that were simply insipid.  I give it a three out of ten for the beautiful scenery and the incessant downhill/uphill running. 

 

Movie review "Mechanic - Resurrection"...

 

It is apparent Jason is not very informed about science or physics as this movie made my logical brain ache.  Between his clothes falling off and killing people as well as an obtuse relationship with Jessica Alba; it was just weird. I give it a five out of ten for the cut on Alba's lip that kept appearing and then disappearing each scene. 

 

Movie review "Hell or High Water"...

 

A bit of a slow paced story that was well told with great actors.  A movie that shows sometimes crime actually does pay. I give it and eight out of ten for acting, action, and the message of how banks are destroying our country. 

 

Movie review "Florence Foster Jenkins"...

 

A movie about lies, deception, and love, how wealth can buy anything.  Based on a true story of a terrible opera singer that played Carnage Hall. I give it a five out of ten for leaving me feeling sad for everyone involved.

 

Movie review "Bad Moms"...

 

Bad Mom's - Bad movie... swimsuit models with ugly children pretending to be mother's they never were to kids that don't exist. If this movie is how women really are then I am going gay.  I give it a one out of ten for insulting every one of the feminine gender.

 

Movie review "War Dogs"...

 

A film based on a true story about greed, war, morality, and stupidity. Jonah Hill gives an Oscar worthy performance as the villain with no scruples. I give a nine out of ten for showing how Bush and Cheney raped the USA for personal profit.

 

Movie review "Anthropoid"...

 

Yet another evil Nazi movie based on a true story of the invasion of Czechoslovakia. A dark movie about assassination, desperation, death and survival.  I give it an eight out of ten for documenting yet further atrocities sanctioned by Hitler. 

 

 

Movie Review "Sausage Party"...

 

The message of this film is religion is stupid, food should kill people and then have gratuitous sex.  There is a point in a movie where stupid is just not funny. I give it a three out of ten for making Selma Hyek a lesbian taco that performed on screen.

 

Movie review "Captain Fantastic"...

 

A well told, intelligent story that is a mixture of Alaskan Bush People and Grizzly Adams. A little family of non-conformists find loyalty and love. I give it a nine out of ten for having a positive message and great casting.

 

Movie review "Suicide Squad"....

 

An amazing cast of characters stuck with poor writing and a recycled save mankind from the end of the world storyline. Watching this movie was like seeing a Ferrari powered by a lawnmower engine.  I give it a six out of ten for a horribly underused Joker and giving Harley Quinn really crummy lines.  

 

Movie review "Jason Bourne"...

 

It was so heartwarming to see the producers of this movie hire cameramen with third phase Parkinson's to do the camera work for this film.If you can get past the sea sickness you have a long convoluted series of shooting and fighting scenes. I give it a two out of ten for the horrible camera work and lack of story line.

 

Movie review "Star Trek Beyond"...

 

A slow-paced start to the trekee genre that paid homage to old Spock and Anton. Bad guy loses to Kirk storyline seems a bit recycled in this action movie.  I give it a 7.5 out of ten for being good but not that good. 

 

Movie review "Lights Out"...

 

A great scary ghost and a lot of gotchas in this somewhat predictable horror film.  This movie finds a new scare of something coming for you when the lights go out.  I give it a seven out to ten for the boyfriend's method of beating the ghost.

 

Movie review "Ghostbusters 2"...

 

Basically, a two-hour SNL skit that pretends to sell girl power while making women look like stupid morons and men even dumber.  While the original Ghostbusters featured quirky smart people this was an insult to intelligence. I give it a three out of ten for committing the unforgivable sin of being in New York and ordering 'Papa John's Pizza': oh no you didn't!!!

 

Movie review "The Infiltrator"....

 

A slow paced movie based on a true story about the drug cartel and how one man used trust and friendship to bring them down. In the end, the betrayal made me feel  sadder for the bad guys. I give it a seven out of ten for being a story in which no one really wins in the end. 

 

Movie review "Swiss Army Man"...

 

A combination of 'Castaway' with 'Weekend at Bernie's' along with some necrophilia mixed with insanity and a fart fetish. Then it got weird, is it just stupid or very deep and intelligent? I give it a seven out of ten for being something completely different. 

 

Movie review "The Purge 2"....

 

A PC predictable takeover of the purge series.  The purge writers seem to be losing their grip on what got them there to begin with.  I give it a five out of ten for the cool getaway truck. 

 

Movie review "Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates"...

 

I went with low expectations and got far more than I thought.  A raunchy, funny, not for kids movie about two idiots that get out done.  I give it a seven out of ten for the girls beating out the boys in this fun film.

 

Movie review "Central Intelligence"...

 

Just when I think Keven Hart is washed up he makes me his bitch.  A really funny movie with good story line and some great comedy.  I give it an eight out of ten for making the Rock more human and a good statement about bullies.

 

Movie review "Now You See Me 2"....

 

Now I don't wish to see you anymore. Another victim of sequel laziness in which everyone shows up and then forgot what got them there to begin with.  I give it a three out of ten for a group of actors that appeared to all hate each other. 

 

Movie review "Neon Demon"....

 

I think the only demon in this film was the director.  A movie made with the premise that pretty people are far more interesting that a script of story line.  I give it a two out of ten for the pretty people.

 

Movie review "Finding Dory"...

 

A cute kids movie about a fish with short-term memory loss. The story is well told with an easy to follow plot; great for young children.  I give it a seven out of ten for the happy ending.  

 

Movie review "The Legend of Tarzan"...

 

Yet another raping of a great tale into a regurgitated politically correct version of six pack Tarzan. This Tarzan couldn't act like a monkey and barely as a human in this predictable rescue Jane story. I give it a six out of ten for the excellent bad guy and the mama gorilla.

  

Movie review "The Shallows"...

 

OMG, this is the best shark movie since Jaws!! The drama and suspense of this survival film keeps you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. I give it a ten out of ten for showcasing a director that knows how to make you squirm in your seat.

 

Movie review "Independence Day 2"....

 

'Independence Day' was a great film and this movie pooped all over it.  Apparently, Will Smith was the only actor that actually read the script and made the intelligent choice to pass. I give it a one out of ten for being a predictable 'PC' pile of crap.

 

Movie review "The BFG"....

 

Yet another Spielberg movie with great CGI and a story that appears to be written by a mentally challenged seven-year-old.  The script was inconsistent and had no continuity.  I give it a three out of ten for the CGI and nothing else.  

 

Movie review "The Secret Life of Pets"....

 

I walked in grumbling about another cartoon kid's movie at which this film made me it's bitch. A fantastic adult animation movie that kept me laughing from start to finish, the best I have seen in five years. I give it a ten out of ten for reminding me why I love movies and the gangster rabbit.

 

Movie review "Alice Through the Looking Glass"...

 

This film is confirmation that Johnny Depp has mental problems and needs some quality time in an institution.  A muddled plot with enough clown makeup to kill a mule.  I give it a three out of ten for weirdness... total weirdness. 

 

Movie review "Warcraft"...

 

A slow-paced cacophony of wizards, warriors, warlocks, and weirdos who couldn't figure out who the good guys were.  I am sure the gamers must have peed themselves just a little seeing their heroes come to life, I did not. I give it a five out of ten for and uneven attempt at trying to make a video game into a movie.

 

Movie review "Conjuring 2"....

 

A well-done film based on actual events of the Amityville of the United Kingdom. Good spooks along with some good gotchas that keep you going to the end. I give it an eight out of ten for the picture of the demon nun.

 

Movie review "X-Men - Apocalypse"...

 

Another showing of the early x-men and how they got started.  A fairly good comic book story with CGI and interesting bad guys. I give it a seven out of ten for showing how one got bald and the other got a helmet.

 

Movie review "Pop-Star - Never Stop Never Stopping"...

 

Andy Samberg does a spoof of the music industry and pulls it off.  I went with walk out expectations and stayed till the end.  I give it and eight out of ten for the silly jokes and horrid songs.

  

Movie review "Me Before You"....

 

A well-done chick flick about attractive sick and dying people.  The dragon girl from Game of Thrones does an excellent job in a well-told story. I give it nine out of ten for a positive message about seeing the big picture when it comes to love.

 

Movie review "The Meddler"...

 

A much better that expected meandering movie about family, love, and moving forward after the death of a spouse.  This was a pretty good story with a positive message about life.  I give it an eight out of ten for showing a future with hope.

 

Movie review "The-Do-Over"....

 

A Netflix buddy movie with Adam Sandler and David Spade in which they have good chemistry, look for a sequel.  One of the best Sandler movies I have seen in five years.  I give it an eight out of ten for a positive story and the old woman titties in the end.

  

Movie review "Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising"...

 

I thought the movie 'Idiocracy' had the highest concentration of stupid people in a film, I now stand corrected.  If vomit and bloody tampons in the face is something you find hilarious, this production is for you, I did not. I give this movie a one out of ten for insulting every aspect of humanity. 

 

Movie review "Money Monster"...

 

Jody Foster is a bad, bad, bad, director, if you need concrete proof, watch this movie. Roberts and Clooney should be involuntarily confined to a mental institution for agreeing to be in this film. I give it a two out of ten for the scenes of New York city and wasting two hours of my life. 

 

Movie review "The Nice Guys"...

 

A 70's PI buddy movie with a lot of funny lines and charisma between actors. I was uncomfortable with the light handed showing of child molestation and abuse throughout the film. I give it a three out of ten because of the abuse, it could have been a good seven otherwise. 

  

Movie review "Angry Birds 3D"...

 

If you are over the age of five-years-old and want to enjoy this movie bring a hammer to hit yourself in the head.  A cartoon movie about an angry bird, that is as deep as it gets.  I give it a nine if you are five years old, a two if you are not.

 

Movie review "Keanu"...

 

A movie written by a cat person stuffed into two hours of Key and Peele skits. Goofiness, murder, drugs, thugs, and cat fetish, if this entertains you, then this is your movie.  I give it a four out of ten as I hate cats and can only stand thirty minutes of Key and Peele at a time.

 

Movie review "The Darkness"...

 

Apparently Kevin Bacon is hard up for money as he is starring in this horror film.  Once again actors are asked to play the dumbest people on earth as a demon wreaks havoc on their lives.  I give it a six out of ten for a few good gotchas and a child I wanted the demons to murder from the start. 

  

Movie review "Captian America: Civil War"....

 

Yet another CGI impregnated move with people in leotards trying to kill each other, but not really. A painfully developed plot to attempt justification of good guys all hating on each other.  I give it a five out of ten for being a fast-paced move to make superheroes look like morons.

 

Movie review "Mother's Day"....

 

Parenthood depicted with wealth porn and actors who have never had kids interpretation of how to raise children. A complete chick flick with predictable plots you could see coming a mile away. I give it a two out of ten for seeing Julia Roberts dressed as a drag queen at the end thinking she was hot... 

 

Movie review "The Huntsman:Winter's War"...

 

Best described as 'Frozen' vs 'Big Bird' in a fight to the death.  The most contrived predictable fairytale I have seen in a long time, this was much worse than the first one. I give it a five out of ten for the amazing scenery and the actors that appeared to be held at gunpoint to do this film.  

 

Movie review "Everybody Wants Some"...

 

An amateur 'Bull Durham' mixed with 'Bad News Bears' set to a college baseball team.  This has to be the worst movie I have seen this year with its strange presentation of college life from an eight-year-old perspective.  I give it a zero out of ten for the fascination the team had with each other's asses.  

 

Movie review "Hardcore Henry"...

 

A non-chick flick that presents a film from a gamers perspective.  Continuous action of killing and jumping and running and fighting and guy stuff. I give it seven out of ten for the first time presentation of a new movie concept.

 

Movie "The Jungle Book"...

 

I hate movies where animals act and talk like humans and humans are animals.  Yet another Disney disaster that will make money due to bored parents needing something to do with their children.  I give it a two out of ten for being forty-something PC while appealing to the mentality of a three-year-old.

 

Movie review "The Boss"...

 

A fun movie with adult sexual comments made throughout that are hilarious.  McCarthy is in fine form with a well-paced comedy that keeps you involved from start to finish.  I give it an eight out of ten for making me burst out laughing more than once.

 

Movie review "Hello, My Name is Doris"...

 

Sally Field returns to the screen to portray a cougar hoarder chasing a millennial. It is a weird movie at best and a strange one at least. I give it a five out of ten for showing how infatuation can make old people act stupid.    

 

Movie review "Criminal"...

 

Kevin Costner once again takes a 'B' script and tries to make an 'A' movie and almost makes it.  The film presented an interesting concept but squandered it with an uneven story.  I give it a six out of ten for watching Costner struggle for two hours on how to present the lead character.

 

Movie review "Eye in the Sky"...

 

A propaganda movie that puts forth the concept that drone missions are never allowed to kill innocent people. The British and American military squabbled for two hours on a strike to protect one child while five of their most wanted are about to get away. I give a three out of ten for fictitious pandering for something that never happens.   

 

Movie review "Mr. Right"...

 

Think of a movie that crosses Deadpool with a chick flick with some comedy mixed in.  The actors had good charisma with each other with a crazy story about finding your one and only true love.  I give it a nine out of ten for the great fights and gunplay along with a happy ending.

 

Movie review "I Saw the Light"....

 

An attractive, under talented British actor attempting to portray a talented hillbilly. An uneven story in which the actor grinned like a possum and murdered a southern accent.  I give it a six out of ten for thinking pretty people can do anything.

 

Movie review "Batman v Superman - Dawn of Justice...

 

A film that puts forth the premise that orphans do not have good people skills and are unable to understand how to get along with each other. A predictable 90% CGI-laden movie that did little more than set up a sequel and presented a story line no one understood.  I give it a seven out of ten for the snazzy outfits and the massive destruction of real estate.

 

Movie review "Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot"...

 

The initials WTF stands for, WTF were the people thinking that made and starred in this movie. A girl power movie that makes women look like morons.  I give it a three out of ten for the waste of my time and talented people.

 

Movie review "10 Cloverfield Lane"....

 

An abduction movie in which John Goodman is not a nice guy. There was good suspense and the film kept you guessing till the end. I give it and eight out of ten for the freaky ending.

 

Movie review "The Other Side of the Door"...

 

A predictable horror movie where really nice people all turn evil when they die and want to harass their family.  Why do they always have something you are never to do and then the main character simply has to do it? I give it a four out of ten as it did not scare me.

 

Movie review "Triple Nine"...

 

A slow paced police drama i which everyone is either a dirty cop or someone you could care less about.  A completely unbelievable story line that seemed to go on forever. I give it a three out of ten for making the worst cop killers cops.

 

Movie review "London Has Fallen"....

 

Better than the last 'Fallen" with non stop action and gratuitous killing of bad guys. A well paced action movie with several twists and turns that keep you involved.  I give it a seven out of ten for surprising me when I expected a four.  

 

Movie review "God's of Egypt"....


A creative retelling of Egyptian mythology that forms the basis of most religion today. An exciting adventure from start to end with great special effects. I give it an eight out of ten for the costumes, transformations, and gold blood.

 

Movie review "The Witch"...

 

An extremely slow paced movie that seems to have no point or purpose supposedly based on a true story.  Not scary and by the end I was rooting for the witch to please kill everyone. I give it a two out of ten for the exceptional acting of the goat.

 

Movie review "The Brothers Grimsby"...

 

If scrotum sucking, anal elephant rape, anal large rocket launching makes you laugh then you will like this film. 'Ali G' once again makes a somewhat comical movie with several things you wish you could unsee.  I give it a seven out of ten for being funny if you can stomach the above.

 

Movie review "Invade This"...

 

Michael Moore documentary that sees what is happening in other countries.  Biased at times with good points made about certain things. I give it an eight out of ten for making the point that people need to help each other.

 

Movie review "Eddie the Eagle".... 

 

A movie based on a true story of the first Olympic ski jumper that was well done.  A film that explains what it means to be fearless and courageous. I give it a nine out of ten for being a well paced fun movie for the entire family.

 

Movie review "Zoolander 2"...

 

The first movie had a couple of chuckles this had none. This is the worst pile of movie excrement that I have seen in five years. I give it a zero out of ten for being a medium that makes talented people look like fools.

 

 

Movie review "Deadpool"....

 

A funny, action hero, gory, romantic, marvel comic movie that is pedal to the metal from start to finish.  Sometimes it is fun to relax and enjoy a good fun action movie.  I give it a ten out of ten for snarkiness alone. 

 

Movie review "How to be Single".... 

 

A movie about dating and relationships for millennials.  It was better than expected with a few laughs and good points made along the way.  I give it a seven out of ten for keeping me interested all the way till the end. 

 

Movie review "Hail Caesar"...

 

A western, comedy, musical, drama, communist, spy, gossip, Roman, Jesus, gay, movie all warped up in a disaster of a film. The trailer should get an Oscar as it has nothing to do with this huge pile of feces. I give it a one out of ten for allowing the Cohen brothers to stay in the movie business. 

 

Movie review "Jane Got a Gun"...

 

When you have ten minutes of story and no script it results in this two hour agonizingly slow movie. They release the worst movies in February, this is one. I give it a one out of ten for making me wish someone would shoot Jane dead.  

 

Movie review "The Choice"....

 

If I was given the 'choice' of watching this movie again or having nine-inch nails driven through my eyes, I would take the nails. A "we hate each other till we make passionate love" movie. I give it a two out of ten for taking half grown chihuahuas and pretending they are labrador puppies. 

 

Movie review "Fifty Shades of Black"....

 

If you liked 'Scary Movie' then you will appreciate the silly comedy in the film.  A lot of goofy mixed in with some really funny lines and spanking.  I give it an eight out of ten for the over the knee scene alone.  

 

Movie review "The Boy"....

 

A fun scary movie that mixes 'Jason' with 'Chucky'.  Maggie from Walking Dead makes her start in the lead role as a baby sitter to a weird doll. I give it a nine out of ten for keeping me in suspense until the end. 

 

Movie review "Anomalisa".... 

 

A creepy puppet film in which all the women have men's voices to save money. A slow paced uninteresting movie about stuff I care not to watch.  I give it a three out of ten for the way to much puppet dick.

 

Movie review "The Finest Hour"....

 

Someone thought it would be cool to ram a chick flick of the backside of a rescue at sea movie. A very slow paced but a dramatic depiction of one of the greatest Coastguard exploits. I give it a seven out of ten for not drowning the chick.  

  

Movie review "Dirty Grandpa"...

 

A cute movie in which De Niro and Efron had absolutely no chemistry.  The film had some great lines and funny scenes to make it worth watching. I give it a seven out of ten for being less when it could have been so much more. 

 

Movie review "Ride Along 2"....

 

Two hours of a person trying too hard to be obnoxious, silly and stupid. The first "Ride Along" was kind of cute and funny this one was irritating.  I give it a one out of ten for watching the slow demise of Kevin Hart's career.   

  

Movie review "Pride, Prejudice and Zombies"...

 

What would happen if you mixed 'Walking Dead" with 'Downton Abbey'. An excellent reinterpretation with amazing costumes and romantic story lines.  I give it an eight out of ten for a fun, gory, drama, romantic, adventure movie.   

 

Movie review "Daddy's Home"....

 

If you like Will Ferrell then you will love this move. A cute comedy that deals with stepdad's and the issues that surround them. I give it a seven out of ten for being a feel-good movie with a happy ending.

 

Movie review "13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi...

 

A penis waving turkey shoot of Muslims with AK-47s. A cacophony of macho statements mixed with bad decisions and jumbled camera battle scenes.  I give it a four out of ten for being too long and making me secretly root for the rebels to win.

 

Movie review "The Forrest"....

 

A wanna be Japanese horror film in which scary faces jump out at you when you most expect it.  So paced and completely predictable in which you wish for bad things to happen to the heroin. I give it a two out of ten for making me want to go to the Forrest and kill myself.


2015


Movie review "The Lobster"....

 

A 1984 George Orwell type presentation of dating in a twisted future. I think this was written and directed by mentally deranged people. I give it a two out of ten for the cacophony of inconsistencies.  

 

Movie review "The Danish Girl"...

 

This is based on the true story of the first transgender operation.  If you can get past that first sentence it is actually a pretty good movie. I give it an eight out of ten for the story and presentation of how true love works.

 

Movie review "Concussion"...

 

Will Smith delivers an Oscar worthy performance based on a true story about injuries in the NFL. The film explains the discovery of brain injury caused to NFL players and the attempt to cover it up.  I give it a nine out of ten for a great story and the performance of those in the movie. 

 

Movie review "The Hateful Eight"....

 

If you are a Tarantino fan you will love this movie with it's blood, guts, and dialogue. The three hour movie takes place in a room and yet he keeps you entertained.  I give it an eight out of ten for not one of his best but pretty good none the less.

 

Movie review "Legend"....

 

A British gangster movie in which you cannot understand half of what they are saying due to the accents. Hardy does an excellent job of playing twins in a story that shows crime doesn't pay.  I give it a seven out of ten for the great acting but bad dialogue. 

 

Movie review "Joy"...

 

Surround Jennifer Lawrence with idiots, morons, and conmen and she is the only person smart enough to save the day. I found the movie contrived, overly predictable, and forced fed drama throughout.  I give it a five out of ten for the waste of Cooper and De Niro.  

 

Movie review "Point Break"....

 

I expected a hold up movie but instead got the most crazy thrill ride from start to finish. This movie takes extreme sports to the edge and back with great scenery and brilliant exploits.  I give it a nine out of ten for a non stop roller coaster ride.

 

Movie review "The Revenant"....

 

A dramatic film that takes the words "shit happens" to the most extreme rendering known to mankind. A long depressing movie about survival when nothing goes right. I give it a seven out of ten for the great wilderness scenes and excellent actors.

 

Movie review "Star Wars - The Force Awakens"....

 

JJ Abrams has a serious running fetish while delivering the fast food of a rehashed continuing movie series. Yet another plotholed, preposterous, story borrowing, hodge podge of confused actors trying to find their way to end and setup up the next movie. I give it a six out of ten for the music and scenery and Harrison Ford.

 

Movie review "Trumbo"...

 

A true story based on the commie hysteria in the 1950's and how hollywood blacklisted innocent people. Bryan Cranston and a excellent cast pulls it off with a great film. I give it a nine out of ten for for people standing up for what is right and winning.

 

Movie review "In Heart of the Sea"...

 

I went in expecting 'Moby Dick' and instead got 'Castaway' mixed with 'Free Willy'. A slow paced, boring, predictable movie that completely crapped all over a great story. I give it a four out of ten and someone needs to take Ron Howard's crack pipe away.

 

Movie review "Spotlight"...

 

A true story about the subsequent abuse coverup and reporting by the Catholic Church and the Boston Globe newspaper.  A very well done movie about a very dark topic.  I give it a nine out of ten for the truth being told. 

 

Movie review "Krampus"...

 

A Christmas horror film that captures the true unhappy spirit of the holidays. A movie with a message to not bring Krampus to your home on Christmas might be a classic. I give it and eight out of ten for the evil gingerbread men.

 

Movie review "Victor Frankenstein"...

 

The gayest Frankenstein film that has ever been made with the prettiest Igor that has ever been seen. Too many silly men not enough monster. I give it a five out of ten for the impressive creation that only lasted five minutes.  

 

Movie review "The Big Short"...

 

A well told true story explanation of how certain people profiteered off the bank/mortgage crash 2008. You will laugh, get angry and see total frustration before this must see film is over.  I give it a nine out of ten for the amazing performances and the girl in the bubble bath.

 

Movie review "Sisters"...

 

Former SNL anchors team back up for a how to drive your parents crazy movie. I expected a stupid chick flick and got bitch slapped by a really funny movie. I give it an eight out of ten for the ballerina sex scene alone. 

 

Movie review "Mockingjay Part 2"...

 

A well paced exciting conclusion to the Mockingjay series that runs almost 2.5 hours. Jennifer Lawrence brings it home with the somewhat predictable ending. I give it an eight out of ten for the final premise that a freedom fighter would give up a mansion to farm and make babies.  

 

 

Movie review "The Night Before"...

 

A strange holiday movie about Jews, drugs, vomit, drinking, and sex. (not for kids)  It's one of those movies that tries too hard to be funny with the typical holiday happy endings for everyone.  I give it a five out of ten, fuck you happy holiday endings...

 

Movie review "The 33"...

 

Based on a true story in which thirty-three men survive a mine collapse. I found the pacing slow and a bit anticlimactic. I give it a six out of ten for making everyone speak English in a Spanish speaking country.   

 

Movie review "Creed"....

 

A nice homage to the Rocky dynasty and if you are a fan you will like this movie. Stallone writes a good movie thats comments about life and relationships you can tell he has mellowed with time.  I give it a seven out of ten for the too predictable ending.     

 

Movie review "Love the Coopers"....

 

A perfectly imperfect movie about the holidays, family, and relationships. I was expecting a dopey holiday movie and got a rather good film instead with a 

'Christmas Story" type narration by Steve Martin. I give it an eight out of ten for the good story and good feeling it left me with at the end.

 

Movie review "Specter"...

 

If you believe you can emerge from fights to the death, machine gun battles, and wild sex without one scratch, bruise, bullet wound or STD you will like this movie. Pouty lips said he would cut his own throat before doing another James Bond after this. I give it a seven out of ten for the over the top crashes, amazing scenery, and preposterous scenarios. 

 

Movie review "The Resurrection of Jake the Snake"...

 

A documentary about professional wrestlers coming back from addictions.  a great film that pulls no punches and shows how caring can help raise people up.  I give it an eight out of ten for the positive message. 

 

Movie review "My All-American"....

 

A sports nutter movie in which everyone yells a lot and winning is what God wants. I do not like movies in which pretty people get everything they want.  I give it a three out of ten for the totally predictable story line.

 

Movie review "Rock the Kasbah"....

 

If you are a Bill Murray fan you will love this movie. A fun movie with a positive message loosely based on a true story.  I give it a nine out of ten for the effortless interaction with everyone seeming to have a good time. 

 

Movie review "Burnt"...

 

A movie about failure and success and more importantly how wealthy friends can buy your way out of anything. A much better film than I expected if you can get past all the food handling and tasting.  I give it a seven out of ten for the good message about pulling your life together. 

 

Movie review "Steve Jobs"...

 

A true story that shows of you are a brilliant ass you can use your money to buy your way out of your problems if you want to.  A story I could care less about but well acted and well told.  I give it an eight out of ten for the great script and good acting.   

 

Movie review "Our Brand is Crisis"...

 

If you are into close-ups of Sandra's seamless face, seeing her dress like a homeless person, watching her throw up, get drunk,spit, and eat potato chips through 3/4 of the film, this is your movie. No one liked her in this movie.  I give it a four out of ten for Billy Bob Thornton's attempt at trying to make her interesting.

 

Movie review "Crimson Peak"....

 

I went in expecting a horror film and instead got a creepy, murder, incest movie. If you can get through that you will find this somewhat entertaining.  I give it a seven out of ten for the amazing visuals throughout the movie and the creepiest ghost mother ever.

 

Movie review "Jem and the Holograms"...

 

I hate movies where people pretend to be poor when they walk around with $30,000 worth of apple computers, iPhones, video and band equipment, and retro 70's clothes. Bad acting, bad writing, bad talent.  I give this a one out of ten for Molly Ringwald trying to make a comeback.   

 

Movie review "Witch Hunter"...

 

An action fantasy film just in time for Halloween.  Vin Diesel has good chemistry with his co stars in a good against evil story that is well told.  I give it an eight out of ten for  the great casting of the witches.  

 

Movie review "Room"...

 

A gripping dramatic film that sucks you in till you are completely consumed.  This is an abduction film that finds a way to have a happy ending.  I give it a ten out of ten for the powerful story and excellent acting.

 

Movie review "Bridge of Spies"...

 

A Mount Rushmore type movie, once you have seen it never again. A great slow paced intellectual film about spies, negotiation and the cold war. I give it an eight out of ten for the great acting of Tom Hanks and the Russian Spy.  

 

Movie review "99 Homes"...

 

A family good movie till the last fifteen minutes in which twisted morality trumps reality. The actors were good regarding the mortgage crisis in Florida, this is a story of survival. I give it a six out of ten for the good acting but crappy ending.   

 

Movie review "Sicario"...

 

If you take out the driving scenes, putting on equipment, and people staring at each other, the two hour movie would be fifteen minutes long. A horribly gory, glacially paced dark film that seems to have no point or purpose.  I give it a two out of ten for the sunglasses of  Del Toro.

 

Movie review "The Martian"....

 

Great actors, great CGI, interesting story, funny lines, poor director. Ridley Scott needs a class on telling a story, I found myself lost several times trying to understand what was being done to survive and it was irritating. I give the movie and eight out of ten for Matt Damon carrying through in spite of the long clumsy directing. 

 

Movie review "The Walk"...

 

A dramatic, passionate, telling of a true story that kept me enthralled from start to finish. A great story told from a French perspective that makes you smile and gave a wonderful homage to the World Trade Centers. I give it a ten out of ten for the 3-D effects that made me duck in my seat!

 

Movie review "The Green Inferno"...

 

This is a horrible poorly done cannibal movie with every gross thing you can imagine. If you can get you head around that it was a great movie! I give it an eight out of ten for the eaten alive scene. 

 

Movie review "Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials"...

 

This is an amateur written 'walking dead' with teenagers. It's more like a video game with virginal teens running away from evil adults and zombies, constantly asking each other "are you ok?". I give it a four out of ten for the running and jumping.  

Movie review “Intern”….

Chick flick that seeks to show that all men are stupid, inept, silly, bumbling, cheaters, that need four year old girls and twenty something women to tell them what to do. If you can get past that it is a cute film.  I give it a seven out of ten for the good chemistry between De Niro and Hathaway.

 
Movie review “Everest”….

‘Because it is there’ is not a competent reason to make irresponsible and stupid decisions. This is a two-hour explanation of the first sentence. I give the move a four out of ten for one of the best helicopter takeoffs I have ever seen.
 

Movie review “Black Mass”….

A well-done movie about a dark topic and bad people; I did not enjoy the telling of how people who lack humanity live and operate. I give the move a six out of ten for the great actors in a soulless true tale.


Movie review “Meru”….

Another mountain climbing movie about people taking huge risks to kill themselves; and surviving. An amazing story of conquest against the odds. I give it a seven out of ten for explaining something I will never understand.
 

Movie review “A Walk in the Woods”…

‘Grumpy old men’ hiking but not as good. Redford and Nolte are great actors but the story was weak. I give it a six and a half out of ten for great scenery.
 

Movie review " Pawn Sacrifice"....

The Bobby Fischer story regarding the guy who beat the Russians in chess in the early 1970's. Well played by Toby McGuire in a movie I thought would be totally boring. I give it a eight out of ten for keeping me interested from start to finish with some amazing history.
 

Movie review "The Visit"...

I never thought you could pull off a horror, reality, comedy, thriller, with a message at the end, but I stand corrected. This movie scared me so bad I think I pooped my pants. I give it a ten out of ten for the crazy; the really, really insane crazy.


Movie review "Hitman Agent 47"....

A foreign movie trying to be a James Bond type action movie with bad actors and a bad script perhaps based on a playstation game. It was Twilight bad. I give it a two out of ten for the pretty girl that never turned her head when she walked.
 

Movie review "Sinister 2"....

Let's just say if you have seen the first one you have seen the second one. I was not scared or entertained. I give it a three out of ten for the nice farm.
 

Movie review "America Ultra"....

Nerd in over his head, becomes James Bond. A gory, fun, action, movie if you can stand the girl from Twilight. I give it a seven and half out of ten for the amazing romantic wedding proposal.
 

Movie review "No Escape"...

Intense thriller based on the premise that all foreign people are sadistic murderers whose greatest goal is to kill Owen Wilson and his family. The insipid lines spoken by his daughters made me want to kill them a couple times as well. I give it a five out of ten for the throwing his daughters off the roof scene.
 

Movie Review "Man from Uncle"...

If you are gay you will love this movie. The double meaning sentences peppered throughout the script and Armie Hammer. I give it a four out of ten for the fabulous suits as well as the terrible fight as to what dress the girl should wear.
 

Movie review "Mission Impossible Rogue Nation"...

Pedal to the metal from start to finish! Mr. Cruse makes a great action movie that keeps you on the edge your seat from beginning to end. I give it a ten out of ten for the plane hanging and flipping cars.
 

Movie Review "Vacation"...

If you love the vacation movies you will love this movie! This is fun hilarious adult comedy - not for kids. I give it a nine out of ten just for the funny pics at the beginning and end of the movie!


Movie Review "ANTMAN" ...

Great actors, great costume, poor script. The movie was predictable, uneven, and in some areas completely inconsistent. The hero seemed uncomfortable in his role as Antman. I give it a six out of ten for the action scenes.
 

Movie Review "Gallows" ...

After twenty minutes of this film I tried to hang myself four times. What makes a writer think saying a persons name as many times as possible makes it interesting? I give this move a one out of ten for no reason I can think of.


Movie Review "Selfless"...

How would you like to wake up with your mind in Ryan Goslings body? Well in this movie I would have wanted to kill myself from boredom. Another predictable badly written movie that wasted talent. I give it a six out of ten for an interesting concept.


Movie Review "Terminator"...

A time redneck machine nightmare. At one point I did not know if it was the father, brother, son, or cousin. You need to watch all four movies before this to figure out the tortured trying to reconnect all of these movies together. I give it a seven out of ten for young Arnold.


Movie Review "Jurassic Park"....

This is the same movie as the first one with a few new dinosaurs thrown in. Many of the same things were copied with a lot of running and screaming to run. I give it a five out of ten for being an exciting rerun...


Movie Review "Southpaw"....

Rocky 12 if there was one. Horrible cinematography in which close up jumble cam of all fight scenes, you are car sick at the end. The plot has numerous holes that just waste such good actors and talent. I give the move a four out of ten for the amazing body transformation of Gyllenhaal.
 

Movie Review "Mr. Holmes"....

The last move if Ian McKellen in which he plays an aging Sherlock Holmes. A long paced move with a good theme at the end if you can last. I give it a seven out of ten for an interesting homage to a great actor.
 

Movie Review "Spy"....

American version of James Bond with a fat girl kicking ass. Great movie with fun and action from start to finish. I give it a nine out of ten for showing pretty people are not always the good ones.


Movie review "Mad Max Fury Road"......

Max is back bigger, crazier and wilder than ever before. The action is non stop from beginning to end with crashes like never seen before. The actions and characters were great but the story was weak so I give it an eight out of ten.


Movie review "D Train".....

Jack Blacks version of 'Brokeback Mountain' starring himself. A story that says straight men can have sex with men and it is ok. I give it a five out of ten for seeing Jack Black do things I wish I could forget.


Movie Review "Fast and Furious 7".....

A better title would be "Fake and Preposterous 7". To allow this group to do homage to the life of Paul Walker is the equivalent of allowing a five year old with dyslexia to write his obituary with a crayon. I give it a three out of ten for crashing a car through three skyscrapers.
 

Movie Review..."Fifty Shades of Grey"...

A well told story that was true to the book. This story introduces aspects of the BDSM community while the actual characters are far removed from it. I give it an eight out of ten for gratuitous nudity and sexual spanking situations.
 

Movie Review "Wedding Ringer".....

I have not seen a wedding movie this funny since Hangover one. Great Script, excellent writing and pace, a fun movie to laugh and enjoy. I give it a nine out of ten for the dog and peanut butter scene.
 

Movie Review...."Blackhat"

What do you say about lovers that can't stand each other. The horrid jittery, blurry, camera work and a story line that was completely stupid. I give it a four out of ten for Thor taking off his shirt at least three times.
 

Movie Review " Kingsman- The Secret Service"....

Yet another 'cookie cutter' spy movie with really nice suits. If you are a Bond groupie you will like the film, if not, you will gag. I give it a six out of ten for the girl with the knife feet...
 

Movie Review "Taken 3"...

A mixture of 'Charlie's Angels' and the 'Expendables' including bad guys that cannot hit a target with a machine gun and high body count. It was so bad halfway through I was begging for the Russian mafia to kill Nelson an his daughter. I give it a two out of ten for wanting to be 'Tak3n' during the movie.


2014


Movie Review... "Exodus"....

The raping of a Bible story is never a pretty sight. I have not seen a violation this bad since Noah. Lloyd Bentsen told Dan Quayle in a debate once, "You are no John Kennedy." I give this movie a three out of ten, "You are no "Ten Commandments"....

 

Movie Review "Foxcatcher"...

A true unhappy story about how crazy wealthy people do weird things. The story was well told and kept me guessing what was going to happen next. I give it a eight out of ten for the shocking ending.

 

Movie Review "The Woman in Black 2"....

I like a good scary move as good as anyone, this was not one. It was like a bad episode of "Walking Dead" with ghosts. I give it a two out of ten for insulting all zombies everywhere.

 

Movie Review... Hobbit....

This is kind of like a group of bad Star Wars characters fighting with swords instead of lasers. If you like sitting through 2.5 hours of chaos fighting then this is the ticket. No character development just ugly and pretty trying to kill each other. I give it a six out of ten for the pretty scenery.

 

Movie review "Unbroken"....

A long sad movie about evil people hurting good people. Jolie is not a great director and her pacing was off throughout the picture. I give it a seven out of ten for good winning over evil.

 

Movie review “Horrible Bosses 2”…..

OMG this makes ‘Dumb and Dumber’ look like a movie about Harvard. I call it ‘The View” for men as three guys try to come up with dumb ideas while all talking at the same time. I give it a nine out of ten for a fun funny movie.

 

Movie review “Gone Girl”….

Great movie about how to deal with socialpath when you are married to them. Some great plot twists that keep you involved from start to finish. I give it an eight out of ten for making you think twice about who you marry.

 

Movie review “St Vincent”…

Bill Murry is at his best making it all appear effortless. A movie about imperfect people and life as well as how we make relationships work. I give it a nine out of ten for making you smile when you drive home afterward.

 

Movie review “Big Hero 6”….

IF you are over the age of 2.5 this movie will assault your intelligence with a vengeance. I walked out after thirty of the longest minutes in my life. I give it a one out of ten for being bad Disney, bad, bad, Disney.

 

Movie review “Dumb and Dumber 2”….

This sequel is as good or ‘gooder’ than the first. Carey and Daniels are in fine form as the follow another crazy Farley Brothers script. I give it a eight out of ten for making me laugh out loud more than once.

 

Movie review “Ouji”…

Another teeny bopper scare movie in which things go bump in the night and people love to split up and walk backward into dark rooms. It has about every horror movie cliché’ and you can see the ending a mile away. I give it a five out of ten to wait for Nexflix only if you really want to go there.

 

Movie review “Nightcrawler”…

Great movie about a successful social path. It is one of those films that make you think twice about who you might mess with. Great story and suspense from start to finish. I give it a nine out of ten for Jake’s crazy eyes.

 

Movie review “John Wick”…

I think Reaves might be going through a weird time in this life for choosing this script. It is nothing but mindless violence with a huge body count. I give it a six out of ten for trying to be Clint Eastwood on steroids.

 

Movie review “Hunger Games” ----

Better than expected with good pacing and story line. I liked it better than the second one and Catless is in fine form. I give it an eight out of ten for making me wait a year for the end of the story you see coming a mile away.

 

Movie review “Interstellar”….

What can I say it was like a three hour Lincoln commercial. It was slow, the story is inconsistent, and the long conversations nearly killed me. I do not see what people see in this movie. I give it a seven out of ten for great visuals but that is about it.

 

Movie Review "Fury"....

First this is not a chick flick... But my friend surmised the only way to describe it as "Powerful". This film about tanks in war and the action is non-stop and the tension keeps you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. War is not pretty but I give this a ten out of ten for being something I will ponder for days after.

 

Movie Review "The Judge"...

Great actors make a movie even with a weak script. That defines this movie. Though the ending really did not match real life but hey that is what movies are for I guess. I give it and eight out of ten for Duvall, Downey and Thornton just being together.

 

Movie Review "Annabelle"...

Yet another scary demon inhabits doll to try and seal a soul movie. Are you terrified? I was not, fell asleep three times. Why do people in horror movies always have to split up?? I give it a four out of ten for allowing me to take a nap.

 

Movie Review "This is Where I Leave You"...

This is exactly the same statement I made when i watched the trailer for this movie.

 

Movie Review "Dracula Untold"..

Poor Dracula is always getting the raw end of the deal as being a bad guy. Well finally this movie gives him a platform for being a nice guy. Good story, interesting to follow and worth seeing. I give it a seven out of ten for the scenery alone along with the setup for the sequel.

 

Movie Review "The Boxtrolls"...

If you are over the age of three this movie will drive you crazy. Intelligent three year olds will probably walk out. I give it a one out of ten for the screaming and stupid script.

 

Movie Review "The Equalizer"...

Yet another old fart in a revenge flick. Denzel does his thing and kills everybody. So if you are up for that you might wait for Netflix. I give it a seven out of ten for the revenge alone.

 

Movie Review "Sin City - A Dame for a Kill"

A cheap dime store detective novel brought to life with vixens for the women and troubled men with dark past. If you are into that type stuff you will love this movie. A great romp with great actors. I give it and eight out of ten for the action and great cars.

 

Movie Review "As Above So Below"

Oh God this is National Treasure with Drag Me to Hell. A great action suspenseful thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The being trapped in tight places scene will freak you out. I give it a nine out of ten for the fantastic Paris setting.

 

Movie Review "November Man"

This is another of the group of movies of old farts being tough guys. I had low expectations but I have to give credit where credit is due Pierce pulled it off with a great action spy thriller. This was a fun movie with a really good script. I give it a nine out of ten for keeping me guessing till the end!

 

Move Review "Guardians of the Galaxy"...

OMG I think they may have cloned Walt Disney or maybe his grandson has taken over the studio!. This is the best movie I have seen since Maleficent but this one is even better! It is a syfy that has great action, is fun and funny from start to finish. The crowd gave a standing ovation! Great writing, character development, and good directing! I give this move a eleven out of ten for being FUN FUN FUN!!!!!!

 

Movie review "When the Game Stands Tall"...

This is part of the new group of "faith" based movies. It about a Catholic school that won 151 games in a row. Sound fishy? Well it was. I happen to sit next to a guy that was on a team that played them in California. he said it was a wealthy school that recruited monsters from around the world giving them free tuition to play. He said every time they were getting beat badly the school would riot onto the field and get the game called so there was no loss. He said it happened to them twice once when they were 40 points up on them. So what did the film show? They never showed it was a Catholic school and they said they won all their games because they loved God so much. It was quiet disgusting after hearing the real story. I give it a zero out of ten for lying about sports and pretending to be about God.

 

Movie Review "Lucy" ...

A movie that did not know what to do with the plot. Most of the movie was close ups of Lucy's face with her trying to look intelligent. It did not work. At the end they just kind of gave up on everything and it was over. I give it a five out of ten for the scary close ups of Morgan Freeman.

 

Movie review "Hercules"...

This was just like the first Conan movie except with more money, a worse script and equal acting. The Rock needs a really good director to hold him together, this one did not. But if you like men in dresses with really tight body armor then don't miss this one. I give it a six out of ten for scenery.

 

Movie review "The Purge 2"

A post apocalyptic Sci Fi movie about the future in 2028. The first movie was hated by critics but I liked it and this one took it a step further. I thought it made an interesting metaphor about the future with many of the strong political views currently being expressed. It was a run away from the bad guys movie with the typical bad decisions being made along the way. I give it an eight out of ten for the metaphors and suspense.

 

Movie Review "Echo"...

A great movie if you are under six years of age. This movie was a very poor attempt to mix the Goonies with ET. The story was so broken up you need a very short attention span to get into it. I give it a 5 out of 10 for only attending if you have small children.

 

Movie Review "Transformers"..

This movie is a combination of Charlie’s Angels with Rockem Sockem Robots. I frankly do not get the hype as the three-hour movie was basically robots shooting and missing each other at close range then slugging it out over and over again. I found it boring and the constantly squealing girl made it worse. I give it a 3 out of 10 for the pretty cars.

 

Movie Review "Tammy"...

A sad comedy about dysfunctional people doing funny and stupid things. It was not as funny as I thought it was going to be and watching people hurt each other is, well, sad. Melissa is a great actress yet she does the same role as the stupid fat girl. I give it a 6 out of 10 for a few good laughs.

 

Movie Review "Obvious Child"...

More like obnoxious child. A movie about parents and their daughter whining and arguing with each other. Two hours worth...I do not find that to be entertaining. I give it a 2 out of 10 for making me think of ways to commit murder.

 

Movie Review "22 Jump Street"....

The first movie was cute with some great scenes and writing. This new one is a complete waste. It seems they dumped the first director, dumped the writers, and thought being cute and acting stupid would be some form of entertainment. I dumped the "Jump" I give it a 1 out of 10 for being a waste of talented people.

 

Movie Review "Day After Tomorrow"....

Groundhog Day with Alien. I am starting to believe Tom Cruse is trying to work out his issues by making movies about them. In the earlier movie Oblivion, he saved the world and had to die but came back to have a do over and live happily ever after.. In this movie he does about a thousand do overs to finally get the girl and live happily ever after. It would seem he is making a statement that if you just give him enough chances he will finally get it right and then live happily ever after. I wish I could be Tom Cruse yet my reality is to crash and burn and find there is no do over or living happily ever after. It must be great to be able to work out your issues on a multi million dollar movie. Just my thoughts... A pretty good film sci fi film. I give it a 7 out of 10 for action and happy endings.

 

Movie review " Maleficent"....

Somewhere Walt Disney is smiling. I loved it! Why? There was a message, and that was; in the midst of hatred, betrayal, revenge, and anger, love conquers all. That thought made me stay through the closing credits with a smile and the warmth of hope in my heart. I give it a ten out of ten for giving 'Sleeping Beauty' a wonderful twist.

 

Movie Review,"Million Ways to Die In the West"

Let's see...Sleepless in Seattle mixed with Saw and Adam Sandler Vomit humor. A very gross,, gory, chick flick. The trailers are the best and there were a few funny lines but it appears Seth was way over his head and drunk with his past success. I give it a seven out of ten for the Daisey scene..

 

Movie review, "Godzilla"...

OMGzilla!!!!! If you are into Godzilla in any way this is the equivalent of a Japanese orgasm! Great exciting movie with a building story line to the grand climax at the end. You have to see this on the Imax! I give it a ten out of ten.for being a dramatic film that keeps you on the edge of your seat!

 

Movie Review Spiderman....

I did not like it. It seems superhero movies have turned completely into formula movies like Disney. No creativity just another cookie cutter super hero movie. Good guy,bad guy, girl, kill a bunch of people good guy wins. Sorry I gave away the entire movie. I give it a five out of ten.from amazement that Lindsy Lohan made it in the film.

 

Movie Review The Other Woman...

Worst movie of the year so far. Horrid writing trying to make women look funny...they weren't. I could only take thirty minutes before walking out. I give it a one out of ten for no reason I can think of.

 

Movie Review Brick Mansions ....

One of Paul Walkers best efforts since the first fast and furious. Yet it was not as good as Escape From NY. Another cookie cutter script in which all evil is conquered and he gets a beemer. Oh God...I give it a four out of ten for this being a better effort than his last three movies.

 

Movie Review Rio 2....

They should have quit when they were ahead. Bad writing bad script cookie cutter movie. If you are over three not the movie for you. I give it a two out of ten for pretty colors.

 

Movie Review The Quiet Ones...

Supposedly based on a true story about a doctor seeking to explain possession as being a mental condition. Good suspenseful movie with some good gotchas.Good character development. If demon movies scare you then you might pass on this one. I give it an eight out of ten for being a good story..

 

Movie Review Captain America...

A better story than the last with a few twists that made it interesting. An exciting movie to see on the big screen. I give it a seven out of ten for action and friendship portrayal.

 

Movie Review From The Rough...

A movie about a college golf team based on a true story. If you can stand the golf it is a good story worth seeing. I give it a seven out of ten for the pics of the actual people at the end.

 

Movie Review Draft Day...

Kevin Costner needs money badly this film is proof of it. I walked out. I give it a two out of ten for wasting my time.

 

Movie review Neighbors...

I liked it! There were a lot of funny lines and the characters seemed to all like one another. The husband and wife interaction was funny as well and the baby was off the planet cute. I give it an eight out of ten for being a fun movie.

 

Movie Review "Budapest Hotel"....

A weird movie. There was three times the verbiage compared to a regular movie as the script tried to make the characters interesting by making them quote whimsical literature. It did not work. The movie was exhausting and boring with one silly story line after another. On the other hand if you are into really great architecture the director featured some amazing buildings. I give it a five out of ten for visuals.

 

Movie Review "Noah" ...

This movie was Lord of the Rings and Twilight on the Titanic. The story had basically nothing to do with the Biblical tale with the exception of boat and water. Russel Crow has to be on crack as no person with their right mind could read this script and want to do the movie. I give it a three out of ten for the stone monster men.

 

Movie Review "Bad Words"...

A dark comedy about a man crashing a child's spelling bee to exact revenge. A unkind funny story that has several scenes that will make you cringe. Not a movie to take the kids to, yet a good date movie none the less. I give it an eight out of ten for the spelling alone.


2013


Movie Review "Sabotage"...

This is a great word to describe Arnold Schwarzenegger's career for making this movie. This is like a bad Charlie’s Angel episode only with much uglier people. I give it a one out of ten for wasting two hours of my life.

 

Movie Review "Divergent" ....

Perhaps a better name would be "De virgins"... It's appears to be a movie about what sexually repressed celibates do for fun, which appears to be climbing up on stuff, jumping off, trying to kill yourself and continue laughing, as well as constantly trying to kill each other. This is some serious sexual frustration. OH yes the director has a fetish for close ups of the face between the eyebrows and lips, three fourths of the movie was of this. I was at an imax with eighty foot faces constantly peering our of the screen it was very irritating. I give it a three out of ten for sexual tension...

 

Movies review for "Need for Speed"......

the proper title is need for script, camera man, and a plot. Aron Paul the great breaking bad drama queen was totally wasted in this huge car wreck. Yes the director had a penchant for totaling as many $250,000 cars as possible in the making of this film. The cars got to do the most drama. I give it a four out of ten for car wrecks unlimited...

 

Movie review "Jack Ryan - Shadow Recruit"...

It is sad when you have a great book, excellent actors and the inept ability to write a script or tell a story. This movie grated on my nerves with the plot holes and the horrid acting of the female love interest. I give the movie a four out of ten for the fingernails across the chalk board bad acting female...

 

Movie review "August Osage County"...

I seldom walk out of a movie, I did this one after fifteen minutes. If you like to watch unhappy people argue and tell each other how much they hate one another this is the movies for you. There was no comedy...all drama queens trying to overpower each other. I give it a one out of ten and do not know why I am being that generous...

 

Movie review "Saving Mr. Banks"...

Walt Disney and his struggle to produce Mary Poppins. A truly great film from a historical point of view and also an interesting story on how people use writing to heal from pain. I give it a ten out of ten as something that will make you laugh cry and think...

 

Movie review "Her"....

A movie about relationships, how people hurt from them and why they fail. Spike Jonze does an excellent job of weaving a story that seems so believable yet cast in the near future. The actors were great and the story was a reality statement. I give it a nine out of ten for a movie everyone would enjoy or relate to.

 

Movie review "Hercules"...

Or should I say Gaycerles? This is the gayest movie since the Lone Ranger. The movie is filled with shirtless buff guys in skirts seeing how close they can stand to each other. The fight scenes are jumping around waving swords like batons. I have a couple of questions... Why in gay movies do the always pick the love interest girl as average looking and the guy has a chest much nicer than hers? Why do the proposed evil men always have to kill women? I have nothing against gay movies but to the story of Hercules?? I give it a six out of ten as a movie that will be shown in gay bars for years to come....

 

Movie Review "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"....

Chick flick... Ben Stiller's writing and directing of a movie based on the shallow premise that if you have some adventure in your life and take a chance everything will just work out peaches. Cute movie and some beautiful scenes from places around the world. A pretty good story. I give it a seven out of ten for a good go see movie with a love interest in the holiday season.

 

Movie Review "Hobbit"....

I have stated earlier I hate connector films. This movie just threw out a bunch of plots and resolved nothing and stopped in the middle of everything...the end. Also it was irritating to me that every single scene had a series of "No we can't it's impossible"...then "yes we can, we can do this" about three to five times in every single scene. It drove me crazy that anyone could write something so mind numbing. So if you wish to see what appears to be a bunch of old Star Wars character rejects, bad writing, and nothing resolved then catch this movie... I give it a one out of ten for the worst movie I have seen this year....

 

Movie Review "The Anchorman"....

Well if you do not worship at the feet of Ron Burgandy or appreciate absolutely silly comedy kind of along the line of the "Airplane" Movies then you will hate this film. I went to a marathon that featured the original with fans calling out the lines, for me it was a fun romp and escape into stupidity. I think we all need that sometimes... I give it an eight out of ten for being as good or better than the original.

 

 

Movie Review "Lone Survivor"...

A war drama film based on a true story. It is about the lone survivor from the highest causality day of American soldiers since WW II. This is not a happy movie and will keep you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. Mark Walberg does a great job portraying the survivor. I give it a nine out of ten for being a story that shows the great loss that wars cause.

 

Movie Review "Homefront"....

First, Jason Statham does not take off his shirt in this one and second James Franco made an excellent bad guy. These movies are typical action fair, first you need a victim that is happy, a bad guy that is completely evil, some type of kidnapping, brutality, drugs, and a truck load of revenge. Clint Eastwood perfected it and Jason is just another b grade copycat. This one does it all with a fairly good story, I give it a seven out of ten for the bad Franco.

 

 

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