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2015 Movie REVIEWS

Movie review "The Lobster"....


A 1984 George Orwell type presentation of dating in a twisted future. I think this was written and directed by mentally deranged people. I give it a two out of ten for the cacophony of inconsistencies.  


Movie review "The Danish Girl"...


This is based on the true story of the first transgender operation.  If you can get past that first sentence it is actually a pretty good movie. I give it an eight out of ten for the story and presentation of how true love works.


Movie review "Concussion"...


Will Smith delivers an Oscar worthy performance based on a true story about injuries in the NFL. The film explains the discovery of brain injury caused to NFL players and the attempt to cover it up.  I give it a nine out of ten for a great story and the performance of those in the movie. 


Movie review "The Hateful Eight"....


If you are a Tarantino fan you will love this movie with it's blood, guts, and dialogue. The three hour movie takes place in a room and yet he keeps you entertained.  I give it an eight out of ten for not one of his best but pretty good none the less.


Movie review "Legend"....


A British gangster movie in which you cannot understand half of what they are saying due to the accents. Hardy does an excellent job of playing twins in a story that shows crime doesn't pay.  I give it a seven out of ten for the great acting but bad dialogue. 


Movie review "Joy"...


Surround Jennifer Lawrence with idiots, morons, and conmen and she is the only person smart enough to save the day. I found the movie contrived, overly predictable, and forced fed drama throughout.  I give it a five out of ten for the waste of Cooper and De Niro.  


Movie review "Point Break"....


I expected a hold up movie but instead got the most crazy thrill ride from start to finish. This movie takes extreme sports to the edge and back with great scenery and brilliant exploits.  I give it a nine out of ten for a non stop roller coaster ride.


Movie review "The Revenant"....


A dramatic film that takes the words "shit happens" to the most extreme rendering known to mankind. A long depressing movie about survival when nothing goes right. I give it a seven out of ten for the great wilderness scenes and excellent actors.


Movie review "Star Wars - The Force Awakens"....


JJ Abrams has a serious running fetish while delivering the fast food of a rehashed continuing movie series. Yet another plotholed, preposterous, story borrowing, hodge podge of confused actors trying to find their way to end and setup up the next movie. I give it a six out of ten for the music and scenery and Harrison Ford.


Movie review "Trumbo"...

 

A true story based on the commie hysteria in the 1950's and how hollywood blacklisted innocent people. Bryan Cranston and a excellent cast pulls it off with a great film. I give it a nine out of ten for for people standing up for what is right and winning.

 

Movie review "In Heart of the Sea"...

 

I went in expecting 'Moby Dick' and instead got 'Castaway' mixed with 'Free Willy'. A slow paced, boring, predictable movie that completely crapped all over a great story. I give it a four out of ten and someone needs to take Ron Howard's crack pipe away.

 

Movie review "Spotlight"...

 

A true story about the subsequent abuse coverup and reporting by the Catholic Church and the Boston Globe newspaper.  A very well done movie about a very dark topic.  I give it a nine out of ten for the truth being told. 

 

Movie review "Krampus"...

 

A Christmas horror film that captures the true unhappy spirit of the holidays. A movie with a message to not bring Krampus to your home on Christmas might be a classic. I give it and eight out of ten for the evil gingerbread men.

 

Movie review "Victor Frankenstein"...

 

The gayest Frankenstein film that has ever been made with the prettiest Igor that has ever been seen. Too many silly men not enough monster. I give it a five out of ten for the impressive creation that only lasted five minutes.  

 

Movie review "The Big Short"...

 

A well told true story explanation of how certain people profiteered off the bank/mortgage crash 2008. You will laugh, get angry and see total frustration before this must see film is over.  I give it a nine out of ten for the amazing performances and the girl in the bubble bath.

 

Movie review "Sisters"...

 

Former SNL anchors team back up for a how to drive your parents crazy movie. I expected a stupid chick flick and got bitch slapped by a really funny movie. I give it an eight out of ten for the ballerina sex scene alone. 

 

Movie review "Mockingjay Part 2"...

 

A well paced exciting conclusion to the Mockingjay series that runs almost 2.5 hours. Jennifer Lawrence brings it home with the somewhat predictable ending. I give it an eight out of ten for the final premise that a freedom fighter would give up a mansion to farm and make babies.  

 

 

Movie review "The Night Before"...

 

A strange holiday movie about Jews, drugs, vomit, drinking, and sex. (not for kids)  It's one of those movies that tries too hard to be funny with the typical holiday happy endings for everyone.  I give it a five out of ten, fuck you happy holiday endings...

 

Movie review "The 33"...

 

Based on a true story in which thirty-three men survive a mine collapse. I found the pacing slow and a bit anticlimactic. I give it a six out of ten for making everyone speak English in a Spanish speaking country.   

 

Movie review "Creed"....

 

A nice homage to the Rocky dynasty and if you are a fan you will like this movie. Stallone writes a good movie thats comments about life and relationships you can tell he has mellowed with time.  I give it a seven out of ten for the too predictable ending.     

 

Movie review "Love the Coopers"....

 

A perfectly imperfect movie about the holidays, family, and relationships. I was expecting a dopey holiday movie and got a rather good film instead with a 

'Christmas Story" type narration by Steve Martin. I give it an eight out of ten for the good story and good feeling it left me with at the end.

 

Movie review "Specter"...

 

If you believe you can emerge from fights to the death, machine gun battles, and wild sex without one scratch, bruise, bullet wound or STD you will like this movie. Pouty lips said he would cut his own throat before doing another James Bond after this. I give it a seven out of ten for the over the top crashes, amazing scenery, and preposterous scenarios. 

 

Movie review "The Resurrection of Jake the Snake"...

 

A documentary about professional wrestlers coming back from addictions.  a great film that pulls no punches and shows how caring can help raise people up.  I give it an eight out of ten for the positive message. 

 

Movie review "My All-American"....

 

A sports nutter movie in which everyone yells a lot and winning is what God wants. I do not like movies in which pretty people get everything they want.  I give it a three out of ten for the totally predictable story line.

 

Movie review "Rock the Kasbah"....

 

If you are a Bill Murray fan you will love this movie. A fun movie with a positive message loosely based on a true story.  I give it a nine out of ten for the effortless interaction with everyone seeming to have a good time. 

 

Movie review "Burnt"...

 

A movie about failure and success and more importantly how wealthy friends can buy your way out of anything. A much better film than I expected if you can get past all the food handling and tasting.  I give it a seven out of ten for the good message about pulling your life together. 

 

Movie review "Steve Jobs"...

 

A true story that shows of you are a brilliant ass you can use your money to buy your way out of your problems if you want to.  A story I could care less about but well acted and well told.  I give it an eight out of ten for the great script and good acting.   

 

Movie review "Our Brand is Crisis"...

 

If you are into close-ups of Sandra's seamless face, seeing her dress like a homeless person, watching her throw up, get drunk,spit, and eat potato chips through 3/4 of the film, this is your movie. No one liked her in this movie.  I give it a four out of ten for Billy Bob Thornton's attempt at trying to make her interesting.

 

Movie review "Crimson Peak"....

 

I went in expecting a horror film and instead got a creepy, murder, incest movie. If you can get through that you will find this somewhat entertaining.  I give it a seven out of ten for the amazing visuals throughout the movie and the creepiest ghost mother ever.

 

Movie review "Jem and the Holograms"...

 

I hate movies where people pretend to be poor when they walk around with $30,000 worth of apple computers, iPhones, video and band equipment, and retro 70's clothes. Bad acting, bad writing, bad talent.  I give this a one out of ten for Molly Ringwald trying to make a comeback.   

 

Movie review "Witch Hunter"...

 

An action fantasy film just in time for Halloween.  Vin Diesel has good chemistry with his co stars in a good against evil story that is well told.  I give it an eight out of ten for  the great casting of the witches.  

 

Movie review "Room"...

 

A gripping dramatic film that sucks you in till you are completely consumed.  This is an abduction film that finds a way to have a happy ending.  I give it a ten out of ten for the powerful story and excellent acting.

 

Movie review "Bridge of Spies"...

 

A Mount Rushmore type movie, once you have seen it never again. A great slow paced intellectual film about spies, negotiation and the cold war. I give it an eight out of ten for the great acting of Tom Hanks and the Russian Spy.  

 

Movie review "99 Homes"...

 

A family good movie till the last fifteen minutes in which twisted morality trumps reality. The actors were good regarding the mortgage crisis in Florida, this is a story of survival. I give it a six out of ten for the good acting but crappy ending.   

 

Movie review "Sicario"...

 

If you take out the driving scenes, putting on equipment, and people staring at each other, the two hour movie would be fifteen minutes long. A horribly gory, glacially paced dark film that seems to have no point or purpose.  I give it a two out of ten for the sunglasses of  Del Toro.

 

Movie review "The Martian"....

 

Great actors, great CGI, interesting story, funny lines, poor director. Ridley Scott needs a class on telling a story, I found myself lost several times trying to understand what was being done to survive and it was irritating. I give the movie and eight out of ten for Matt Damon carrying through in spite of the long clumsy directing. 

 

Movie review "The Walk"...

 

A dramatic, passionate, telling of a true story that kept me enthralled from start to finish. A great story told from a French perspective that makes you smile and gave a wonderful homage to the World Trade Centers. I give it a ten out of ten for the 3-D effects that made me duck in my seat!

 

Movie review "The Green Inferno"...

 

This is a horrible poorly done cannibal movie with every gross thing you can imagine. If you can get you head around that it was a great movie! I give it an eight out of ten for the eaten alive scene. 

 

Movie review "Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials"...

 

This is an amateur written 'walking dead' with teenagers. It's more like a video game with virginal teens running away from evil adults and zombies, constantly asking each other "are you ok?". I give it a four out of ten for the running and jumping.  

Movie review “Intern”….

Chick flick that seeks to show that all men are stupid, inept, silly, bumbling, cheaters, that need four year old girls and twenty something women to tell them what to do. If you can get past that it is a cute film.  I give it a seven out of ten for the good chemistry between De Niro and Hathaway.

 
Movie review “Everest”….

‘Because it is there’ is not a competent reason to make irresponsible and stupid decisions. This is a two-hour explanation of the first sentence. I give the move a four out of ten for one of the best helicopter takeoffs I have ever seen.
 

Movie review “Black Mass”….

A well-done movie about a dark topic and bad people; I did not enjoy the telling of how people who lack humanity live and operate. I give the move a six out of ten for the great actors in a soulless true tale.


Movie review “Meru”….

Another mountain climbing movie about people taking huge risks to kill themselves; and surviving. An amazing story of conquest against the odds. I give it a seven out of ten for explaining something I will never understand.
 

Movie review “A Walk in the Woods”…

‘Grumpy old men’ hiking but not as good. Redford and Nolte are great actors but the story was weak. I give it a six and a half out of ten for great scenery.
 

Movie review " Pawn Sacrifice"....

The Bobby Fischer story regarding the guy who beat the Russians in chess in the early 1970's. Well played by Toby McGuire in a movie I thought would be totally boring. I give it a eight out of ten for keeping me interested from start to finish with some amazing history.
 

Movie review "The Visit"...

I never thought you could pull off a horror, reality, comedy, thriller, with a message at the end, but I stand corrected. This movie scared me so bad I think I pooped my pants. I give it a ten out of ten for the crazy; the really, really insane crazy.


Movie review "Hitman Agent 47"....

A foreign movie trying to be a James Bond type action movie with bad actors and a bad script perhaps based on a playstation game. It was Twilight bad. I give it a two out of ten for the pretty girl that never turned her head when she walked.
 

Movie review "Sinister 2"....

Let's just say if you have seen the first one you have seen the second one. I was not scared or entertained. I give it a three out of ten for the nice farm.
 

Movie review "America Ultra"....

Nerd in over his head, becomes James Bond. A gory, fun, action, movie if you can stand the girl from Twilight. I give it a seven and half out of ten for the amazing romantic wedding proposal.
 

Movie review "No Escape"...

Intense thriller based on the premise that all foreign people are sadistic murderers whose greatest goal is to kill Owen Wilson and his family. The insipid lines spoken by his daughters made me want to kill them a couple times as well. I give it a five out of ten for the throwing his daughters off the roof scene.
 

Movie Review "Man from Uncle"...

If you are gay you will love this movie. The double meaning sentences peppered throughout the script and Armie Hammer. I give it a four out of ten for the fabulous suits as well as the terrible fight as to what dress the girl should wear.
 

Movie review "Mission Impossible Rogue Nation"...

Pedal to the metal from start to finish! Mr. Cruse makes a great action movie that keeps you on the edge your seat from beginning to end. I give it a ten out of ten for the plane hanging and flipping cars.
 

Movie Review "Vacation"...

If you love the vacation movies you will love this movie! This is fun hilarious adult comedy - not for kids. I give it a nine out of ten just for the funny pics at the beginning and end of the movie!


Movie Review "ANTMAN" ...

Great actors, great costume, poor script. The movie was predictable, uneven, and in some areas completely inconsistent. The hero seemed uncomfortable in his role as Antman. I give it a six out of ten for the action scenes.
 

Movie Review "Gallows" ...

After twenty minutes of this film I tried to hang myself four times. What makes a writer think saying a persons name as many times as possible makes it interesting? I give this move a one out of ten for no reason I can think of.


Movie Review "Selfless"...

How would you like to wake up with your mind in Ryan Goslings body? Well in this movie I would have wanted to kill myself from boredom. Another predictable badly written movie that wasted talent. I give it a six out of ten for an interesting concept.


Movie Review "Terminator"...

A time redneck machine nightmare. At one point I did not know if it was the father, brother, son, or cousin. You need to watch all four movies before this to figure out the tortured trying to reconnect all of these movies together. I give it a seven out of ten for young Arnold.


Movie Review "Jurassic Park"....

This is the same movie as the first one with a few new dinosaurs thrown in. Many of the same things were copied with a lot of running and screaming to run. I give it a five out of ten for being an exciting rerun...


Movie Review "Southpaw"....

Rocky 12 if there was one. Horrible cinematography in which close up jumble cam of all fight scenes, you are car sick at the end. The plot has numerous holes that just waste such good actors and talent. I give the move a four out of ten for the amazing body transformation of Gyllenhaal.
 

Movie Review "Mr. Holmes"....

The last move if Ian McKellen in which he plays an aging Sherlock Holmes. A long paced move with a good theme at the end if you can last. I give it a seven out of ten for an interesting homage to a great actor.
 

Movie Review "Spy"....

American version of James Bond with a fat girl kicking ass. Great movie with fun and action from start to finish. I give it a nine out of ten for showing pretty people are not always the good ones.


Movie review "Mad Max Fury Road"......

Max is back bigger, crazier and wilder than ever before. The action is non stop from beginning to end with crashes like never seen before. The actions and characters were great but the story was weak so I give it an eight out of ten.


Movie review "D Train".....

Jack Blacks version of 'Brokeback Mountain' starring himself. A story that says straight men can have sex with men and it is ok. I give it a five out of ten for seeing Jack Black do things I wish I could forget.


Movie Review "Fast and Furious 7".....

A better title would be "Fake and Preposterous 7". To allow this group to do homage to the life of Paul Walker is the equivalent of allowing a five year old with dyslexia to write his obituary with a crayon. I give it a three out of ten for crashing a car through three skyscrapers.
 

Movie Review..."Fifty Shades of Grey"...

A well told story that was true to the book. This story introduces aspects of the BDSM community while the actual characters are far removed from it. I give it an eight out of ten for gratuitous nudity and sexual spanking situations.
 

Movie Review "Wedding Ringer".....

I have not seen a wedding movie this funny since Hangover one. Great Script, excellent writing and pace, a fun movie to laugh and enjoy. I give it a nine out of ten for the dog and peanut butter scene.
 

Movie Review...."Blackhat"

What do you say about lovers that can't stand each other. The horrid jittery, blurry, camera work and a story line that was completely stupid. I give it a four out of ten for Thor taking off his shirt at least three times.
 

Movie Review " Kingsman- The Secret Service"....

Yet another 'cookie cutter' spy movie with really nice suits. If you are a Bond groupie you will like the film, if not, you will gag. I give it a six out of ten for the girl with the knife feet...
 

Movie Review "Taken 3"...

A mixture of 'Charlie's Angels' and the 'Expendables' including bad guys that cannot hit a target with a machine gun and high body count. It was so bad halfway through I was begging for the Russian mafia to kill Nelson an his daughter. I give it a two out of ten for wanting to be 'Tak3n' during the movie.

"NOW I SEE THE BEST!" 

Reviews for 2015 that are updated on a weekly basis.  I generally see movies one to two weeks before they come out so check here before you go, to see my latest reviews.

"Why waste time on bad movies?"

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